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| Quotes From "THE X-FILES" |
These are lines from the show that we have grown to love.
The ones that make each episode special.
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SEASON 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
PILOT (THE
X-FILES)
1x00
Original airdate: September
10, 1993
Scully: . . . He had a nickname at the academy: "Spooky" Mulder.
Scully: Am I to understand you want me to debunk the X-files project, sir?
Mulder: Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted.
Mulder: Oh, isn't it nice to be suddenly so highly regarded. So who did you tick off to
get stuck with this detail, Scully?
Scully: Actually, I'm looking forward to working with you. I've heard alot about you.
Mulder: Oh, really? I was under the impression . . . that you were sent to spy on me.
Mulder: . . . now there's a credential: rewriting Einstein.
Scully: Did you bother to read it?
Mulder: I did. I liked it. It's just that in most of my work, the laws of physics rarely
seems to apply.
Scully: Do you have a theory?
Mulder: I have plenty of theories.
Mulder: Do you believe in the existence of *extraterrestrials*?
Scully: The answers are there you just have to know where to look for them.
Mulder: That's why they put the "I" in FBI.
Mulder: Yeah, our boys came out here, enjoyed the local salmon, which with a little
lemon twist is to die for . . . if you'll pardon the expression.
Mulder: I arranged to have the body exhumed. You aren't squeamish about that sort of
thing, are you Scully?
Scully: I don't know, I've never had the pleasure.
Mulder: Guy obviously needed a longer vacation.
John Truitt: This isn't official procedure.
Mulder: Really?
Scully: Who is it?
Mulder: Steven Spielberg. Way too wired. Going for a jog. Wanna join me?
Scully: Pass.
Mulder: Figure out what that little thing in Ray Soames' nose is yet?
Mulder: What's his name, er . . . Billy said he was sorry he didn't get to say goodbye.
Scully: How did you know that girl was going to have the marks?
Mulder: I don't know, lucky guess?
Mulder: We lost nine minutes!
Scully: We lost *WHAT*?
Scully: You're saying that time disappeared. Time can't just disappear, it's a universal
invariant! (Dead car starts.)
Mulder: Not in this zip code.
Mulder: The only reason I've been allowed to continue with my work is because I've
made connections in congress.
Scully: And they're afraid of what? That, that you'll leak this information?
Mulder: You're a part of that agenda, you know that.
Scully: I'm not a part of any agenda. You've got to trust me. I'm here just like you, to
solve this.
Mulder: You gotta love this place, every day's like Halloween.
Blevins: Agent Mulder - what are his thoughts?
Scully: Agent Mulder, believes we are not alone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
DEEP THROAT
1x01
Original airdate: September
17, 1993
Mulder: Can I buy you a drink?
Scully: It's 2:00 in the afternoon, Agent Mulder.
Mulder: It's not stopping the rest of these people.
(when Mulder comes in, it looks like he's going to kiss Scully :o)
Mulder: I got something to show you.
Scully: Something you couldn't show me at work.
Scully: What reason would the military have to kidnap one of their own pilots?
Mulder: That's the sixty-four thousand dollar question, Scully.
Scully: So?
Mulder: So you and I are going to the Spud State to investigate a little kidnapping.
Scully: I don't get it Mulder. Does this have something to do with an X-File? I thought
you only liked those . . . uh . . . Paranormal-type cases. Am I missing something here?
Mulder: Let's say this case has a . . . distinct smell to it. A certain . . . paranormal
bouquet.
Mulder: So what do you make of Uncle Fester, down the street?
Mulder: Can I talk with you? Special Agent Mulder, FBI.
Colonel Kissel: I've got nothing to say. Please, this is an invasion of my privacy.
Mulder: Why don't you talk to us about Colonel Budahas?
Kissel: Why don't you get the hell out of my yard.
(Kissel enters his house and shuts the door)
Scully: Good thing we still kept that appointment
Mulder: Put it on my tab. (UFO picture)
Scully: Sucker!
Kid: Thanks!
Mulder: (In surfer voice) Later, dude!
Scully: What's that?
Mulder: Evidence.
(Loud Heavy Metal music starts; Scully looks exasperated and turns it off)
Mulder: Kids today, huh?
Scully: Mulder, did you see their eyes? If I were that stoned . . .
Mulder: Oooh! If you were that stoned what!?
Mulder: Tell me I'm crazy.
Scully: Mulder, you're crazy.
Mulder (to Scully): You didn't come to raid my mini-bar, did you?
Mulder: If we ignore them, do you think they'll go away?
Mulder: They're here. Aren't they.
Deep Throat: Mr. Mulder, *they've* been here for a long long time.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
SQUEEZE
1x02
Original airdate: September
24, 1993
Tom Colton: No, of course not. But you do work with Spooky Mulder.
Scully: Mulder's ideas may be a bit out there but he is a great agent.
Mulder: So why didn't they ask me?
Scully: They're friends of mine from the academy, I'm sure they just felt more
comfortable talking to me.
Mulder: Why would I make them so uncomfortable?
Scully: It probably has to do with your reputation.
Mulder: (laughing) Reputation? I have a reputation?
Scully: Mulder, look. Colton plays by the book and you don't. They feel your methods,
your theories are . . .
Mulder: Spooky? Do you think I'm spooky?
Colton: So Mulder, what do you think? Does this look like the work of little green
men?
Mulder: Grey.
Colton: Excuse me?
Mulder: Grey. You said green men. The reticulant skin tone is actually grey. They're
notorious for there extraction of terrestrial human livers. Due to iron depletion in the
Reticulan galaxy.
Colton: You can't be serious?
Mulder: Do you have any idea what liver and onions go for in Reticulan?
Mulder: You wouldn't shoot an unarmed man would 'ya copper?
Scully: Mulder, you are jeopardizing my stakeout.
Mulder: Seeds?
Mulder: I have a reputation?
Scully: That's why Blevins has you hidden away down here.
Mulder: You're down here, too.
Mulder: And maybe I run into so many people, who are hostile, just because they can't
open their minds to the possibilties, that sometimes the need to mess with their heads,
outweighs the millstone of humiliation.
Scully: It seemed like you were acting a little territorial. I don't know--forget it.
Mulder: (plays with her necklace) Of course I was.
Mulder: In our investigations, you may not always agree with me but at least you
respect the journey. And if you wanna continue working with them, I won't hold it
against you.
(Mulder starts up the stairs and after a brief pause, Scully follows)
Scully: I don't know, you must have something more than your polygraph interpretation
to backup this bizarre theory and I have to see what it is.
Mulder: What's the matter, Colton, you worried I'm gonna solve your case?
Scully: Apartment 2 0 3. He killed the guy above him.
Mulder: Maybe his neighbour played the Victrola too loud.
Scully: Genetics might explain the patterns. It also might explain the sociopath attitudes
and behaviors. It begins with one family member who raises an offspring who raises the
next child . . .
Mulder: So what this, the anti-Waltons?
Mulder: (Talking about the microfiche machine) You have any dramamine on you by
any chance 'cause, these things make me seasick.
Scully:: Oh my God, Mulder . . . it smells like . . . I think it's bile.
Mulder: Is there any way I can quickly get it off my finger without betraying my cool
exterior?
Scully: Is this what it takes to climb the ladder, Colton?
Colton: All the way to the top.
Scully: Then I can't wait until you fall off and land on your ass.
Mulder: You alright? (Scully is leaning against the wall, breathing heavily. She
manages a nod of the head) He's not gonna get his quota this year.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
CONDUIT
1x03
Original airdate: October 1,
1993
Blevins: In your opinion, has Agent Mulder's personal agenda clouded his professional
judgement?
Scully: In my opinion, no.
(While looking at 'National Comet' tabloid)
Scully: Well what makes this case any more credible than the hundred year old mother
with the lizard baby?
Mulder: Because the lizard baby wasn't born anywhere near Lake Okobogee.
Scully: Oko-what?
Mulder: Bogee. (leaning over toward Scully) Okobogee.
Darlene Morris: (to Scully) You know, I've told this story so many times now, oh to the
newspapers and the police. And everytime I tell it, people get this, look in their eye,
just like the look that you've got right now.
Scully: I just don't think it's a good idea to antagonize the local law enforcement."
Mulder: Who, me? I'm Mr. Congeniality.
Scully: You never know, we might need his help one of these days.
Mulder: I'll send him a bunt cake.
Mulder: C'mon, how could an 8 year old boy who can barely multiply be a threat to
national security? People call *ME* paranoid.
Mulder: (Reacting to the NSA trashing the house) You guys do really delicate work.
(Scully is going through the X-File on Mulder's sister)
Dr. Heitz Werber: Can you see your sister?
Mulder: No, but I can hear her.
Werber: What is she saying?
Mulder: She's calling out my name, over and over again. (Mulder is holding a picture
of him and his sister when they were kids.) She's crying out for help but I can't help
her. I can't move. (Mulder is sitting inside a church)
Werber: Are you scared?
(Mulder starts crying)
Mulder: I know I should be but I'm not.
Werber: Do you know why?
Mulder: Because of the voice.
Werber: The voice?
Mulder: The voice in my head.
(Mulder gets down on his knees)
Werber: What's it telling you?
Mulder: Not to be afraid. It's telling me no harm will come to her, and that one day
she'll return.
Werber: Do you believe the voice?
Mulder: I want to believe.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
THE JERSEY
DEVIL
1x04
Original airdate: October 8,
1993
Scully: Working hard, Mulder?
Mulder: (indicating to centerfold) This woman claims to have been taken aboard a
space ship and held in an anti-gravity chamber without food and water for three days.
Scully: (Looking sideways at magazine) Antigravity's right. Sorry to interrupt your
serious investigation. But I just heard a story that'd just take your knees out.
Mulder: What's that?
Scully: They found a body in the New Jersey woods yesterday, missing its right arm
and shoulder. They think they may have been eaten off . . . by a human.
Mulder: Where in New Jersey?
Scully: Just outside Atlantic City.
Mulder: Not an uncommon place to loose a body part.
Mulder: You feeling lucky, Scully?
Scully: Relative to whom?
Scully: Mulder, it's the same story I've heard since I was a kid. It's a folk tale, a myth.
Mulder: I heard the same story when I was a kid too, funny thing is, I believed it.
Mulder: So what's eating that guy?
Mulder: Hey, what do you say we grab a hotel, take in a floor show, drop a few
quarters in the slots, do a little digging on this case.
Scully: You're kidding right?
Mulder: Okay, we can skip the floor show.
Scully: Mulder, I have to be back in DC.
Mulder: You got a date?
Scully: No. I have my godson's birthday party at 6:30.
Ellen: What about that guy you work with?
Scully: Mulder?
Ellen: I thought you said he was cute.
Scully: He's a jerk. He's not a jerk, he's um . . . obsessed with his work.
Mulder: Where're you sleeping tonight?
Jack: You're standing in my bedroom. (they're in an alleyway)
Mulder: You know the, The Galaxy Gateway? (Mulder gives Jack his room key)
Room 756. Go ahead.
Jack: Hey, they got HBO?
Mulder: (laughs) Yeah, they do.
Scully: Where are you?
Mulder: Not far from where you left me.
Scully: You're still in Atlantic City?
Mulder: Scully, you got anything happening this morning?"
Scully: What's that noise in the background?
Mulder: That's a guy getting sick.
Scully: Mulder, where are you? . . . The drunk tank?
(Scully picks Mulder up from the drunk tank in New Jersey.)
Scully: Well it's not hard to see why they mistook you for a vagrant.
Mulder: Are you going to rag on me, or are you going to take me to get something to
eat?
Scully: Am I buying or did you manage to panhandle some spare change while you
were at it?
Scully: Well I have to get back to Washington by 7:30, so, um . . .
Mulder: Got another birthday party?
Scully: No. I have a date.
Mulder: Can you cancel?
Scully: Unlike you Mulder, I would like to have a life.
Mulder: I have a life!
Ranger Peter Boulay: Hi, I found a body out in the woods today, it looks like it's been
dead about six to eight months. A long haired male, missing the same tooth I found in
that rabbit a while back. It could be your devil.
Mulder: Where's the body now?
Boulay: I turned it over to the coroner's office.
Mulder: You're sure it was a male?
Boulay: Well, it had all the plumbing.
Mulder: You should have seen her. She was beautiful.
Scully: Yeah well she just about ripped your lungs out.
Mulder: Who was that on the phone?
Scully: A guy.
Mulder: A guy. Same guy as the guy you had dinner with the other night?
Scully: Same guy.
Mulder: You going to have dinner with him again?
Scully: I don't think so.
Mulder: No interest?
Scully: Not at this time.
Mulder: (Walking to the door) What are you doing?
Scully: Going with you to the Smithsonian.
Mulder: Don't you have a life, Scully?
Scully: Keep that up, Mulder, and I'll hurt you like that beast woman.
(Scully stops at the door, her hand on the handle)
Mulder: Eight million years out of Africa . . .
Scully: (Holding door open for him) And look who's holding the door.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
SHADOWS
1x05
Original airdate: October 22,
1993
MIB: If any inquiry is made about this meeting, we request full denial.
Mulder: I'd say you people already suffer from full denial.
Mulder: I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.
Scully: Psycho-kenisis? You mean how Carrie got even at the prom?
Mulder: Paramedics check you out?
Scully: Yeah, I'm fine, although I do have a standing in line at the DMV sized headache.
Mulder: Mine's more IRS sized.
Mulder: Frequently, people who have psychokinetic power are unaware of their own
capability.
Scully: Are you saying Lauren Kyte crashed our car?
Mulder: Either that or a poltergeist.
Scully: (doing a Carol-Ann impression) They're Heeere!
Mulder: They may be.
Mulder: You won't find too many people at their bosses' grave who aren't dancing on
it.
Mulder: You may be right.
Scully: Wait. You think *I'm* right?
Scully: That's Howard Graves. He's alive.
Mulder: Not necessarily.
Scully: Mulder, there's no such thing as ghosts.
Mulder: Do you know how difficult it is to fake your own death? Only one man has
pulled it off, Elvis.
Mulder: I don't suppose you ran any dental confirmations.
Dr. Bledsoe: What for? It was him.
Scully: How did you know?
Bledsoe: It said so on the toe tag.
MIB: I can make her talk. (Lauren Kyte)
Mulder: (Grinning) My advice to you; don't get rough with her.
Mulder: Hey Scully, do you believe in an afterlife?
Scully: I'd settle for a life in this one.
Mulder: Have you ever seen the liberty bell?
Scully: Yes.
Mulder: You know, I've been to Philadelphia a 100 times and I've never seen it.
Scully: You're not missing much. It's just a big bell with a big crack, and you have to
wait in a long line.
Mulder: Yeah, but I'd really like to go.
Scully: Why now?
Mulder: I don't know. How late do you think they stay open?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~
GHOST IN THE MACHINE
1x06
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "So, why did you two go your separate ways?"
Mulder: "I'm a pain in the ass to work with."
Scully: "No, seriously."
Mulder: "You mean I'm not a pain in the ass to work with?"
---
Scully: "Must be for the visually impaired."
Mulder: "How do you like that? A politically correct elevator."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
ICE
1x07
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "Obviously, they either think we're brilliant or expendable, because we pulled
the assignment."
---
Mulder: "Bring your mittens."
---
(Hodge wants to see everyone's ID)
Hodge: (shows ID) "Me". (Looks at Murphy) "It's you."
Murphy: (shows ID) "Me . . . It's me."
Mulder: (holds to DaSilva's face) "It's me."
DaSilva: "It's you."
Mulder: (Looks at Scully's ID) "It's you . . ." (with a smirk)
---
Mulder: "San Diego? Do you get much of a chance to study ice down there?"
Denny: "Just what's around the keg."
---
Mulder: "But the weather forecast said we have a 3-day window for traveling."
Radio operator: "Welcome to the top of the world, Agent Mulder."
---
(When everyone in the group is asked for a stool sample.)
Mulder: "Does anyone have a copy of the Sunday Sports Page?"
---
(As the men start to strip for their physical exam)
Mulder: "Now before anyone pass judgment, please keep in mind we're in the arctic."
---
Scully: "Put it down!"
Mulder: "You put it down first! Scully . . . For godsakes it's me."
Scully: "Mulder! You may not be who you are."
---
Mulder: "You give me one worm, you'll infect me."
Scully: "If that's true, then why didn't you let us inspect you?"
Mulder: "I would have, but you pulled a gun on me! Now, I *don't* trust them. I
*want* to trust you!"
Scully: "ok. But now they're not here."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
SPACE
1x08
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: ". . . to deny us evidence"
Scully: "Evidence of what?"
Mulder: "Alien civilization"
Scully: "Oh, of course."
---
Mulder: "You never wanted to be an astronaut when you were a kid, Scully?"
Scully: "Guess I must have missed that phase."
---
Mulder: "I have to admit, that fulfilled ONE of my boyhood fantasies."
Scully: "Yeah, ranks right up there with getting a pony and learning to braid my own
hair."
Mulder: "Come on Scully, you have to admit that was exciting. Mission control, the
countdown."
---
Scully: "It's an oxygen leak. Even *I* can figure out what happens if they run out of
oxygen."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~!*~*~*~*~*~*~*
FALLEN ANGEL
1x09
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: (To Henderson) "I think you knocked out a filling."
---
Scully: "That story happens to be highly classified."
Mulder: "A highly classified lie."
---
(Inside Mulder's trashed hotel room.)
Scully: "What's going on?"
Mulder: "Looks like housekeeping hasn't been here yet."
---
(Referring to Max, the NICAP member.)
Mulder: "Another intrepid soul in search of a close encounter."
---
Mulder: "I didn't think anybody was paying attention."
Max: "Somebody's always paying attention Mr. Mulder. And this must be the . . .
enigmatic Dr. Scully."
---
Mulder: (smiling) The *enigmatic* Dr. Scully.
---
Military radar operator: "Well, sir. **The Meteor** seems to be hovering over a small
town in eastern Wisconsin."
Mulder: "You hear that noise Scully? Hammer and nails. They're building a gallows in
town square."
---
Scully: "Good luck."
Mulder: 'Break a leg'? (He already did that)
---
Mulder: "Then what can I say? How can I disprove lies that are stamped with an
official seal? You can deny all the things I've seen, all the things I've discovered, but not
for much longer because too many others know what's happening out there. And no
one, no government agency, has jurisdiction over the truth."
---
Deep Throat: "Always keep your friends close Mr. McGraf, but keep your enemies
closer."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~
EVE
1x10
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "That's over four liters of blood."
Mulder: "Could say the guy was running on empty."
---
Scully: "She was kipnapped from the social services home around 11:00pm last night.
Looks like someone was afraid she might remember too much."
Mulder: "Someone or SOMETHING Scully?"
Scully: "Connecticut state troopers set up roadblocks within half an hour. Nothing."
Mulder: "Maybe they weren't looking in the right direction." (Points up)
---
Mulder: "And one of those girls was just abducted."
Scully: "Kidnapped."
Mulder: "Pa-tay-toe, pah-tah-toe"
---
Scully: "Mulder, you're rushing me out of the room."
Mulder: "No I'm not."
Scully: "Do you have a girl coming over?"
Mulder: "What's a girl? I've got a movie I want to watch on TV. Sleep tight."
---
Mulder: "What are you doing here?"
Deep Throat: "Thought we might take in a Warriors game."
---
Eve 6: "Unlock the chains . . . and then we'll talk."
Mulder: "They're probably there for a good reason."
Eve 6: "No. bad reason. I paid too much attention to a guard. Bit into his eyeball. I
meant it as a sign of affection."
---
Eve 6: "This replication of chromosomes also produces additional genes. Heightened
strength, heightened intelligence . . ."
Mulder: "Heightened psychosis."
Eve 6: "Saved the best for last."
---
Scully: "I could use some caffeine."
---
Mulder: "Back off, I'm a Federal Agent."
Trucker: "Yeah, and these are America's Most Wanted. Hands in front. Now let the
girls go."
Woman: "Get in the truck girls. Get in. I'm going to call the police."
Scully: "We ARE the police!"
---
Mulder: "Forget your sodas?"
Cindy: "We didn't do anything wrong."
Teena: "We're just little girls."
Mulder: "That's the LAST thing you are."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
FIRE
1x11
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "Oh, I forgot what it was like to spend a day in court."
Mulder: "That's one of the luxuries to hunting down aliens and genetic mutants - you
rarely get to press charges."
---
Mulder: "That's weird. I was sure I locked it."
Scully: "Must be an X-File."
---
(Mulder finds a cassette in the car.)
Scully: "What do you think it is?"
Mulder: "Ten to one you can't dance to it."
---
Mulder: "Dana Scully, this is Phoebe Green. The terror of Scotland Yard."
Scully: "Hello."
Phoebe (whispering in Mulder's ear): "She hates me."
---
Scully: "Mulder, you just keep unfolding like a flower."
---
Scully: "I notice you drop everything fast enough in order to help her out."
Mulder: "I was merely extending her a professional courtesy."
Scully: "Oh, is that what you were extending?"
---
Scully: "So, Sherlock, is the game afoot?"
Mulder: " 'Fraid so, Watson."
---
Scully: "So she shows up knowing the power she has over you and then she makes you
walk through fire."
Mulder: "Phoebe is fire."
---
Phoebe: "Oh, come one don't tell me left you sense of humor in Oxford ten years ago."
Mulder: "No, actually, that's one of the things you didn't manage drive a stake through."
---
Scully: (In Phoebe accent off screen) "Care to take me to lunch?" (Normal) "Scare
you?"
Mulder: "You have no idea . . ."
---
Nurse: "Can I get you anything, sir?"
Cecil: "I'm just dying for a cigarette."
---
Scully: "Well, never let it be said that you wouldn't walk through fire for a woman,
Mulder."
Mulder: "And never let it be said that I wouldn't do it for you again, Scully."
- Fire (original script)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
BEYOND THE SEA
1x12
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "Good sailing, Ahab." (saluting)
Dad: "Good night, Starbuck."
---
Scully: "Last time you were that engrossed, it turned out you were reading the 'Adult
Video News'."
---
Scully: "Mulder, do I detect a since of skepticism."
---
Scully: "Did Boggs confess?"
Mulder: "No, no, it was five hours of Boggs' channeling. After three hours I asked him
to summon up the soul of Jimmi Hendrix and requested 'All Along the Watchtower'.
You know, the guy's been dead twenty years, but he still hasn't lost his edge."
---
Mulder: "Dana, open yourself up to extreme possibilities only when they're the truth."
---
Scully: "You set us up. You're in on this with Lucas Henry. This was a trap for Mulder
because he helped put you away. Well, I came here to tell you that if he dies because
of what you've done, four days from now nobody will stop me from being the one
that'll throw the switch and gas you out of this life for good, you son of a bitch!!!
---
Mulder: "Scully . . . Dana, after all you've seen. After all the evidence . . . why can't you
believe?"
Scully: ". . . I'm afraid. I'm afraid to believe."
Mulder: "You couldn't face that fear? Even if it meant not ever knowing what you're
father wanted to tell you.
Scully: ". . . But I do know."
Mulder: "How?"
Scully: ". . . He was my father."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
GENDER BENDER
1x13
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "So what is our profile of the killer? 'Indeterminate height, weight, sex; unarmed,
but extremely attractive'?
---
(Mulder in his best hick voice.)
Mulder: "You need anything from the *feed store*."
---
(Scully is suspicious about the Kindred compound.)
Scully: "There's something up there, Mulder."
Mulder: "I've been saying that for years."
---
Mulder: "Now, this . . . that's . . . west."
Scully: "What does the map say?"
Mulder: (crumpling up the map, drop kicking it, and Scully catches it) "That we
should be there already."
---
Mulder: "The Addams' family finds religion."
Scully: "Take me back to the 20th century."
---
Mulder: "What the hell were you doing back there?"
Scully: "I don't know."
Mulder: "You *don't know*?"
---
Mulder: "How 'ya feeling?"
Scully: "Better. A little embarrassed, actually."
Mulder: "Why? You don't remember anything."
---
Mulder: "I know what I saw, Scully -- I saw you about to do the wild thing with some
stranger!"
---
Scully: "We can't rule out the possibility that the person we're looking for was a
transvestite."
Mulder: "I think Don Juan in there knows the difference between the male and the
female of the species."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
LAZARUS
1x14
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "I sense a big BUT coming . . ."
---
Scully: "We dated for almost a year. He was my instructor at the academy."
Mulder: "Plot thickens . . ."
---
Scully: "Anyway, just because someone forgets a birthday, doesn't mean he's
possessed."
---
Mulder: "Can you at least accept the idea that during Willis' near death experience
some sort of psychic trauma occurred?"
Scully: "Can't you accept that this isn't an X-File?"
---
Mulder: (on phone) "Dana, are you all right? Dana!"
---
Mulder: "If you lay one hand on her, so help me God, I'll--"
---
Greskin: "Mulder says he's got something."
Daniels: "What? An alien virus, or new information on the Kennedy assassination?"
Greskin: "Hey. Mulder's all right. Pay attention, you might learn something from the
man."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
YOUNG AT HEART
1x15
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "How are you feeling?"
Scully: "First time I've ever played the target."
Mulder: "Let's make sure it's not the last."
---
Mulder: "Reggie thought I was full of it, I WAS full of it."
---
Henderson: "10 minutes may be enough time for you Mulder. Of course I wouldn't
know that from personal experience."
Mulder: "Thanks Henderson, I owe you one."
Henderson: "Promises, promises.
---
Mulder: "I know what I'm not gonna do. I'm not gonna wait around for John Barnett to
send me another Valentine."
Scully: "You mean the ghost of John Barnett?"
Mulder: "I didn't know you believed in ghosts Scully."
---
Mulder: "That guy in the ugly suite is probably CIA."
---
Scully: "Mulder, I know what you did wasn't by the book."
Mulder: "Tells you something about the book, doesn't it?"
~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~
E.B.E.
1x16
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: ". . . Those lights the driver saw may have been swamp gas."
Mulder: "Swamp Gas?"
Scully: "It's a natural phenomenon in which phosphene and methane rising from
decaying organic matter ignite, creating globes of blue flame."
Mulder: "Happens to me when I eat Dodger Dogs."
---
Mulder: "I'm trying to decide which lie to believe."
---
(Talking about the LGM)
Mulder: "Some of their ideas are down-right *spooky*."
---
Byers: "Vladimir Zhirinovsky, the leader of the Russian social democrats -- he's being
put into power by the most heinous and evil force of the twentieth century."
Mulder: "Barney?"
Byers: "The CIA"
Scully: "Ha!"
Byers: "Is this your skeptical partner?"
Frohike: "She's hot."
---
Frohike: "She *is* hot."
Mulder: "Settle down Frohike."
---
Byers: "That's why we like you, Mulder. Your ideas are weirder than ours."
---
Scully: "Those were the most paranoid people I have ever met. I don't know how you
could think that what they say is even remotely plausible."
Mulder: "I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot."
---
(Scully speaking to Mulder)
Scully: "I have never met anyone so passionate and dedicated to belief as you . . . It's
so intense sometimes it's blinding . . ."
---
Scully: "Mulder, the truth is out there . . . but so are lies."
---
Deep Throat: "And a lie, Mr. Mulder, is most convincingly hidden between two truths."
---
Mulder: "I tied up an air phone for three hours. I don't speak Japanese, but I think
some businessman told me to stick a piece of sushi where the sun don't shine."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
MIRACLE MAN
1x17
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "The boy's been performing miracles for the past ten years--twice on Sunday."
---
Mulder: "I think I saw some of those people at Woodstock."
Scully: "Mulder, you weren't AT Woodstock."
Mulder: "I saw the movie."
---
(Scully passes the collection plate.)
Scully: "Apparently miracles don't come cheap."
---
Scully: "Maybe we should go backstage and see what the reverend has to say."
Mulder: "No wait, wait. This is the part where they bring out Elvis."
---
Scully: "What is it?"
Mulder: "It’s a girl . . ."
Scully: "Who? Jessica Hahn?"
Mulder: "A little girl."
---
Mulder: "Do you think the boy really did it?"
Scully: "No."
Mulder: "Why not?"
Scully: "I was raised a Catholic . . . I have a certain familiarity with the scripture and
God never lets the Devil steal the show."
Mulder: "You must have really liked 'The Exorcist'."
Scully: "One of my favorite movies . . ."
---
(Scully is rinsing a lung off in the sink.)
Scully: "Mulder, look at this."
Mulder: "Do I have to?"
---
Scully: "You've got that look on your face, Mulder."
Mulder: "What look is that?"
Scully: "The kind when you've forgotten your keys and you're trying to figure out how
to get back in the house."
---
Mulder: "Remember the boy did come back from the dead. That kind of thing only
happens once or twice every 2000 years."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
SHAPES
1x18
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "The creeps?" (looks skeptical)
Lyle: "Yeah, the creeps. Don't you ever get the creeps, Agent Scully?"
---
Scully: "Well, looks like nothing unexplainable here."
Mulder: (holding up a large thin layer of skin with tweezers) "Nope, not a thing."
---
(An old Indian says that he could smell Mulder and Scully from a mile away.)
Mulder: "Well, they told me that even though my deodorant's made for a woman, it's
strong enough for a man."
---
Old Indian man: "You even have an Indian name, Fox. Should be Running Fox or
Sneaky Fox-."
Mulder: "So long as it isn't 'Spooky Fox'."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
DARKNESS FALLS
1x19
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
(Mulder shows Scully slides of missing loggers.)
Scully: "What am I looking at?"
Mulder: "Thirty loggers working a clearcutting contract in Washington state - rugged
manly men in the full bloom of manhood."
Scully: "Right, but what am I looking for?"
Mulder: "Anything strange, unexplainable, unlikely . . . a boyfriend."
---
Mulder: "I don't think even Bigfoot could choke down that much flannel."
---
Mulder: "Come on, Scully. It'll be a nice trip to the forest."
---
Scully: "What kind of insect could have gotten a man all the way up in a tree?"
Mulder: "Itsy bitsy spider . . ."
---
Scully (looking at a dissected corpse): "It's male."
Mulder: "Barely."
---
Scully: "Oh, *brain* sucking parasites."
---
Scully: "What do you think?"
Mulder: "I think I'm gonna suggest we sleep with the lights on."
---
Mulder: "And I told her it would be a nice trip to the forest."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
TOOMS
1x20
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Skinner: "In short Agent Scully, it is your responsibility to see that these cases are by
the book."
Scully: "I understand, however conventional investigation of these cases may decrease
the rate of success."
---
Mulder: "Do you think they would have taken me more seriously if I had worn the grey
suit?"
---
(Old man who Tooms was going to stay with): "It's kinda cramped down there, but I'm
sure you can squeeze in there."
Tooms: "Yes, I'm sure I can." (accompanied by the trademark Tooms creepy smile.)
---
Mulder: (to Tooms) "Excuse me! Could you help me find my dog? He's a Norwegian
Elkhound. His name is Heinrich. I use him to hunt Moose."
---
Scully: "Can you determine the cause of death? My instinct says that burial in cement is
murder."
---
Mulder: "Tooms has been inside all day. I sat through a Phillies game, an Orioles games
and four hours of Ba-ba-booie. When it got dark, I walked around the block."
---
Scully: "Mulder, It's getting a little ripe in here, don't you think?"
Mulder (pulls air freshener out of glove box): "Pine scented."
---
Mulder: "No, you'd be in trouble just sitting in this car. And I'd hate to see you carry an
official reprimand in your career file because of me."
Scully: "Fox --"
Mulder (laughing): "I -- I even made my parents call me Mulder. Mulder.
Scully: "Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you."
Mulder: "If there's an iced tea in that bag, it could be love."
Scully: "It must be fate, Mulder. Root beer."
Mulder: "huuh!"
Scully: "You're delirious. Go home and get some sleep."
---
Skinner: "Agent Scully, you wouldn't be lying to me would you?"
Scully: "Sir, I would expect you to place the same trust in me as I do in you."
---
Mulder: "You can get the next mutant."
---
Skinner: "Have you read this report? Do you believe them?"
CSM: "Of course I do."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
BORN AGAIN
1x21
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "How'd you hear about us?"
Lazard: "My brother. My brother's a cop. Baltimore. He told me about your work on
the Tooms case and said you've got a good feel for things . . . out of the ordinary."
---
Mulder: "Plus jumpers tend to open the windows before they jump."
---
Mulder: "Why is it still so hard for you to believe?!"
Scully: "There weren't any ghosts flying around the precinct."
---
Mulder: "Michelle is eight years old. That means she was conceived at roughly the
same time the Officer Morris was killed."
Scully: "Do me a favor Mulder and let me say it. Reincarnation."
---
Mulder: "Short of growing a mustache what more apparent does it have to become for
you to accept it?"
---
Scully: "Pathologists are paranoid by nature."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
ROLAND
1x22
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "How was the wedding?"
Scully: "You mean the part where the groom passed out or the dog bit the drummer."
Mulder: "Did you catch the boquet?"
Scully: "Maybe."
---
Scully: "Okay, but how is this an X-File . . . Mulder you don't think this is anything to
why UFO technology?"
Mulder: "There's something unexplainable here Scully, but certainly not unidentifiable."
---
Mulder: "Hey Roland, you got more shirts than I've got.
(Holds up a shirt for Roland to wear.)
I think this would look stylin' today. Whadda ya think?"
---
Roland: "People die. They go away. And they're not supposed to come back."
---
Mulder: "Well if he had intentions to kill Nollette, Keats and Surnow, why not set it up
to appear the least likely suspect?"
Scully: "Yeah. By the look of this, (holds up picture of car crash) he's hamburger."
---
Mulder: "You've got a brother, don't you, Scully?"
Scully: "Yeah, I have an older one and a younger one."
Mulder: "Have you ever thought about calling one of them all day and then the phone
rings and it's one of them?"
Scully: "Does this pitch somehow end with a way for me to lower my long distance
charges?"
Mulder: "I believe in psychic connections. Closest of all between family members."
Scully: "OK, maybe, but in this case one family member has closer ties to a frozen
fudgesicle than he does to his own brother."
. . .
Scully: "OK let's go. I have to call my brother."
---
Mulder: "We've got to find Nollette."
Scully: "Let's talk to campus security."
Mulder: "We go this way?" (Mulder heads in the wrong direction.)
Scully: "No. We go left."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
ERLENMEYER FLASK
1x23
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "As far as I can tell he wouldn't pull over for a moving violation."
Scully: "Well that ought to put him on the ten most wanted list."
---
Cop: "I know it's not The Silence of the Lambs . . . it's what we do."
---
(Talking about Deep Throat)
Mulder: "You think he does it because he gets off on it?"
Scully: "No, I think he does it because you do."
---
Deep Throat: "Calling it a night Mr. Mulder?"
Mulder: "My mother usually likes me home before the street lights come on."
---
(Speaking to Deep Throat)
Mulder: "Y'know from day one this has been on your terms. I've gone along, been the
dutiful son. So maybe this time we can cut through the Obi-Wan Kenobi bit and save
me the trouble."
---
Scully: "OK, Mulder, but I'm warning you. If this is monkey pee. You're on your own."
---
Scully: "I know by now to trust your instincts."
Mulder: "Why? Nobody else does."
---
MIB: "Your cellular phone has been ringing off the hook."
Mulder: "I'm a popular guy. Why don't you answer it for me."
MIB: "Oh, I don't like talking on the phone. I have this thing about unsecured lines."
---
Deep Throat: "Trust no one."
---
Mulder: "I'm not going to give up. I can't give up. Not as long as the truth is out there."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~**~*~**~*~**~*
SEASON 2
*~*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~**~**~******~*~**~*~*~**~*
LITTLE GREEN MEN
2x01
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Student: "Are you OK Agent Scully? You kinda sounded a little 'spooky'."
---
Mulder: "We wanted to listen . . . I wanted to believe, but the tools had been taken
away. the X-Files had been shut down. They closed our eyes. Our voices have been
silenced. Our ears now deaf to the realms of extreme possibilities."
---
(In parking garage)
Mulder: "Four dollars for the first hour of parking is criminal. What you've got better be
worth at least 45 minutes."
Scully: "You know, Mulder, from back there you look like him."
Mulder: "Him?"
Scully: "Deep Throat."
Mulder: "He's dead, Scully. I attended his funeral at Arlington through 8-power
binoculars from 1000 yards away. Now the picture frame was turned down, you
wanted to talk? What have you found?"
Scully: "I wanted to talk but I haven't found anthing."
Mulder: "It's dangerous for us just to have a little chat."
---
Scully: "What makes you think they care about us anymore, anyway?"
Mulder: "So why have you bothered to come here covertly?"
Scully: "Because I realize that it was the only way that you would see me."
---
Mulder: ". . . Actually the idea was presented to Hale one night while he was playing
billiards. An elf climbed in his window and told him to get money from the Rockefeller
Foundation for a telescope."
Scully: "And you're worried that all your life you've been seeing elves?"
Mulder: "In my case, little green men."
---
Mulder: "Seeing is not enough, I should have something to hold onto. Some solid
evidence. I learned that from you."
---
Scully: "Mulder, even if George Hale only saw elves in his mind, the telescope still got
built. Don't give up . . . And next time we meet out in the open."
---
Sen. Matheson: "Do you know this, Fox?"
Mulder: "Bach, Brandenburg Concerto Number 3."
Matheson: "Two."
Mulder: "Good thing it wasn't a Double Jeopardy question."
---
Senator Matheson: "Do you like Bach Mulder?"
Mulder: "I live for Bach."
---
Scully: "I was told by the Assistant Director that Mulder was gone."
Agent: "So?"
Scully: "So, whenever he's away I feed his fish."
---
Agent: "Just dump it in the tank."
Scully: "That would be bad for the fish."
---
Mulder: "Don't touch that red button Jorge . . . nojo on the rojo."
---
Mulder: "I wanted to believe but the tools have been taken away."
---
Mulder: "I was sent here by one of those people. Deep Throat said, 'Trust no one'.
That's hard Scully. Suspecting everyone . . . everything. It wears you down. You even
begin to doubt what you know is the truth . . . Before, I could only trust myself. Now I
can only trust you. And they've taken you away from me."
---
Scully: "Evidence is worthless if you're dead."
---
Scully: "You still have nothing."
Mulder: "I may not have the X-File, Scully, but I still have my work . . . I still have you
. . . I still have myself."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
THE HOST
2x02
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Dimitri: "Why is this always my job?"
Sailor: "Because you are young. And because it is terrible and smelly work."
---
(In the sewers)
Detective: "Watch your step."
Mulder: "Yeah. Wouldn't want to *step* in anything."
---
Norman: "They say it cuts the smell if you don't breathe through your mouth."
Mulder: "They lied."
---
Scully: "Is this seat taken?"
Mulder: "No, but I should warn you, I'm experiencing violent impulses."
Scully: "Well, I'm armed, so I'll take my chances. I hear you really endeared yourself to
Assistant Director Skinner today."
Mulder: "You know sometimes it just gets hard to smile through it when they ask you to
bend down and grab your ankles, you know?"
---
Mulder: "They don't want us working together, Scully. And right now that's the only
reason I can think of to stay."
---
Scully: "This was living inside the body. Apparently, it had attached itself to the bile
duct and was feeding off the liver."
Mulder: "LOVE-ly."
Scully: "Believe it or not, something like 40 million people are infected worldwide."
Mulder: "This isn't where you tell me some terrible story about sushi, is it?"
Scully: "Maybe you'd rather hear what you can catch from a nice rare steak."
Mulder: "So . . . what? The murder weapon was a nice rare sirloin?"
---
Mulder: "That's good. I was worried that I would have to tell Skinner that our suspect
was a giant bloodsucking worm."
---
Mulder: "How big can these things get?"
Scully: "Mulder, I . . . (smiles) I'm sorry, felt like old times there for a second."
---
Scully: "Platyhelminthes are often hermaphroditic. Mulder, this is amazing. Its vestigial
features appear to be parasitic, but it has primate physiology. Where the hell did it
come from?"
Mulder: "I don't know. But it looks like I'm gonna have to tell Skinner that his suspect
is a giant bloodsucking worm after all."
---
Scully: "And Mulder, when you see Skinner to hand in your field report, I know that it's
your decision, but I hope that you know that I'd consider it more than a professional
loss if you decided to leave."
---
Scully: "Is this seat taken?"
Mulder: "No, but I should warn you I may reek a bit of the sewer."
Scully: "I'll take my chances."
---
Scully: "Mulder, Nature didn't make this thing. We did . . ."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BLOOD
2x03
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Spencer: "Played softball with this guy over Labor Day. He was one of those nice guys.
Couldn't play and didn't bitch about being stuck in right field . . ."
Mulder: "What's wrong with right field?"
Spencer: "Always the first to shake hands at the end of the game . . . didn't matter
whether he won or lost . . ."
Mulder: "Gotta have an arm to play right field . . ."
Spencer: "Bought a round of beers afterwards even though he didn't drink . . ."
---
(Mulder's field report and Scully's reaction to it.)
Mulder: "There have been reported abductee paranoia in UFO mass abduction cases."
Scully: "I was wondering when you'd get to that."
Mulder: "I find no evidence of this to be the case."
---
Winter: "Agent Mulder? Larry Winter, county supervisor."
Mulder: (Showing gloved hand) "Pardon my rubber."
---
Mrs. McRoberts: "I'm late for work."
Mulder: "You can blame me."
---
Mrs. McRoberts: "OK if I have my breakfast?"
Mulder: "It's the day's most important meal."
---
Mulder: "Imagine being one of those flies on the wall of the Oval Office . . ."
Frohike: "Been there. Done that."
---
Frohike: "Obviously you haven't read the August edition of The Lone Gunmen."
Mulder: "Oh, I'm sorry boys . . . it arrived the same day as my subscription to Celebrity
Skin."
---
Frohike: (playing with his night vision binoculars) "So, Mulder, where's your little
partner?"
Mulder: "She wouldn't come. She's afraid of her love for you."
Frohike: "She's tasty."
Mulder: "You know Frohike, it's men like you that gives perversion a bad name."
---
(Asking for night vision binoculars)
Mulder: "Hey Frohike. Can I borrow those?"
Frohike: "If I can have Scully's phone number."
---
Winter: "I checked up on you. You have a pension for 'spooky' evidence."
Mulder: "Don't start with that tired crap. Don't start diverting blame . . ."
---
Mulder: "Scully, are you familiar with subliminal messages?"
Scully: "You mean like sex in ice cubes in liquor ads? That's paranoia."
---
(When Spencer walks out of hospital room)
Mulder: "He's probably one of those people that thinks Elvis is dead."
Scully: "Mulder, I was wrong . . . Exposure to the insecticide does induce paranoia."
---
Scully: "Why would they . . ."
Mulder: "Fear. It's the oldest tool of power. If you're distracted by fear of those around
you, it keeps you from seeing the actions of those above."
---
(Looking at broken doorbell)
Scully: "This is odd."
Mulder: "Frustrated Jehovah's Witness?"
---
Message on Mulder's cellular phone-
ALL DONE BYE BYE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SLEEPLESS
2X04
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Krycek: "I don't appreciate being ditched like somebody's bad date."
Mulder: "Sorry if I hurt your feelings."
Krycek: "Where do you get off copping this attitude? I mean, you don't know the first
thing about me."
Mulder: "Exactly."
Krycek: "You know, back at the academy, some of the guys used to make fun of you."
Mulder: "Oh, stop it, or you're going to hurt *my* feelings."
---
Mulder: "All right, what do you want to know?"
Krycek: "Just the truth. You know there's things you're not telling me that I need to
know."
Mulder: "It's just that my ideas usually aren't very popular."
---
X: "The truth is still out there, but it's never been more dangerous."
---
Scully: "Even if you're right, you'll have a much better chance of finding Cole if you
work up a profile and try and surmise his next move."
Mulder: "All right, I'll sharpen my pencils and I'll see you later . . ."
---
Scully: "Sounds like your new partner's working out."
Mulder: "He's all right. He could use a little more seasoning and some, uh, wardrobe
advice. But he's a lot more open to extreme possibilities than . . ."
Scully: ". . . then I was?"
Mulder: "Than I assumed he would be."
Scully: "Must be nice not having someone questioning your every move, poking holes in
all your theories?"
Mulder: "Oh oh, yeah . . . i-i-it's great, a-ah I'm surprised I put up with you so long. . ."
(Very long and a bit sad pause)
Scully: "You better go . . ."
---
Krycek: ". . . Scully's a problem . . ."
CSM: "Every problem has a solution."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
DUANE BARRY
2x05
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Kazdan: "He's bent on taking the doctor with him to an alien abduction site, only he
can't quite remember where the site is so he stopped at a travel agency."
---
Official: "Mulder, why are you so paranoid?"
Mulder: "It's not paranoia when you're right."
---
Mulder: "Duane?"
Duane: "Yeah?"
Mulder: "This is Special Agent Fox Mulder. Look I want to try to help you."
Duane: "Yeah? Well, we're just sitting here waiting for, uh, travel plans."
---
Duane: "It's like living with a gun in your head. And never knowing when it's gonna go
off . . ."
Mulder: "You can let the others go, Duane . . . Let the others go and take me."
Duane: "Aw, they heard you talk like that, they gonna have your ass!" (laughs)
Mulder: "I don't care about that, Duane."
Duane: "No. I wouldn't do that to you. Besides, Doc -n- I got an appointment. Ain't
that right, Doc?"
---
Krycek: "Calm down, Scully."
Scully: "Don't tell me to calm down. I'm not going to calm down until I can talk to
someone who will listen to what I'm saying."
---
Scully: "Mulder, it's me. I just had something incredibly strange happen. This piece of
metal that they took out of Duane Barry, it has some kind of code on it. I ran it through
a scanner, and some kind of serial number came up. What the hell is this thing, Mulder?
It's almost . . . it's almost as if somebody was using it to catalog him . . . (breaking
glass, scuffling, etc.) Mulder! Mulder! I need your help! . . . MULDER!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ASCENSION
2x06
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Man in Skinner's office: "Why are you so paranoid, Mulder?"
Mulder: "Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because I find it hard to trust anybody."
---
(Krycek and Mulder are driving in a car and Mulder almost falls asleep at the
wheel.)
Krycek: "The Department of Transportation reports that over 10,000 accidents are
caused each year by sleepiness."
Mulder: "Did they mention how many of those people were put to sleep by their
statistics?"
---
Mulder: (to Duane - in a barely audiable painful whisper) "Did you kill her?"
---
(Duane starts to go nuts and Mulder trys to pin him down. He sees a few strands of
red hair and blood on his wrist.)
Mulder: "Did you hurt her?! DID YOU HURT HER?! What is this?!
---
Mulder: "Did you ask him where Scully is?"
Krychek: "Yeah. He started whistling 'Stairway to Heaven'.
---
CSM: "We tell you only what you need to know."
Krycek: "I think I have the right to know."
CSM: "You have no rights. Only orders to be carried out. If you have a problem with
that we'll make other arrangements."
---
(When Mulder tries to go to Senator for help)
X: "This reaches beyond any of us, Mr. Mulder"
---
Mulder: "Why? Do they have something on him?"
X: "They have something on everyone, Mr. Mulder. The question is when they'll use it."
---
X: "They only have one policy: Deny Everything."
---
Skinner: "There is only one thing that I can do, Agent Mulder. As of right now, I'm
reopening the X-Files. That's what they fear the most."
---
(Mulder to Mrs. Scully)
"It's probably scarier when you stop having the dream, don't you think?"
---
Mrs Scully: (Giving Mulder back the cross) "When you find her you give it to her."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3
2x07
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Officer: "An FBI agent without a partner?"
---
The Son: "Don't you want to live forever?"
Mulder: "Not if drawstring pants come back into style."
---
Mulder: "It's a stiff price though. Look at yourself, drinking blood, living in darkness,
unable to see your reflection in a mirror. Or is that just a myth?"
(Pulls out mirror, sees John's reflection).
John: "I can't be seen in no mirror."
---
Mulder: ". . . in another couple of hours, there'll be no escaping the sun, son . . ."
---
Policeman: "What if he turns into a bat and flies out through the bars?"
---
Policeman: "Why don't you go back to your hotel room and get some sleep?"
Mulder: "I didn't check into a hotel room. I don't sleep anymore."
---
Coroner: "You are really upsetting me . . . On several levels."
---
Coroner: (Light bulb on hand) "An old coroner's trick."
Mulder: "I can make a quarter appear from behind your ear . . ."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ONE BREATH
2x08
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
This is one of my favorite scenes, so I had to put it in here :)
(Mulder gets a phone call and rushes to the hospital. He storms through the halls,
then starts jogging. A nurse grabs his hand, trying to stop him.)
Nurse: "Sir . . . sir, you can't go in there!"
(He breaks free and runs through a door marked "Authorized Personal Only." He
runs to Scully's side. She is hooked up to various machines, her face covered with
them.)
Mulder: "Who . . .?"
(He looks at Mrs. Scully, who is staring at her daughter. Mulder looks away,
knowing her pain. He looks over to the various people sitting around.)
Mulder: "Who brought her here? How did she get here?"
Nurse: "Sir, will you please . . ."
Mulder: (shouting) "How did she get here?"
Nurse: "Ms. Scully was in this condition when I arrived for the evening shift. If you'll
step outside, perhaps Dr. Daly . . ."
Mulder: "Is that Daly? Are you Dr. Daly?"
(The man nods.)
Mulder: "What the hell is going on? How did she get here?"
Dr. Daly: "Would you settle down . . ."
Mulder: "Was it, was it paramedics, FBI, military? Answer me right now!"
Dr. Daly: "I . . ."
Mulder: "What, you're telling me she just appeared?"
Dr. Daly: "Sir . . ."
Mulder: "Who did this to her!?"
Dr. Daly: "Sir . . ."
(Mulder goes to the nurse's desk and starts throwing papers.)
Mulder: "I want to see her admission forms. Who did this to her? I want to see what
tests have been done!"
(Daly struggles with him for the papers. Security guards grab Mulder and start
dragging him away.)
Mulder: "Listen, if you're hiding anything, I swear, I will do anything, whatever it takes,
I'll find out what they did to her!!"
---
Byers: "Good work sneakin' out these charts . . ."
Frohike: "Tucked them in my pants."
Mulder: "There's plenty of room down there."
Langly: "You look down, Mulder? Tell you what, you're welcome to come over
Saturday night. We're all hoppin' on the Internet to nit-pick the scientific inaccuracies of
Earth 2 . . ."
Mulder: "I'm doing my laundry."
---
Mr. X: "I didn't expect you here till after visiting hours!"
---
CSM: "If you're having trouble sitting on Mulder, Assistant Director Skinner, I'm sure
you know that we would have no trouble."
---
Skinner: "Tell me what happened at the hospital last night."
Mulder: "Are you referring to the tooth found in the cafeteria jello?"
---
(Ahab's dialouge to Scully)
"Hello Starbuck. It's Ahab. People would say to me. 'Life is short. Kids, they grow up
fast. Before you know it, it's over.' I never listened. To me, life went at a proper pace
of many rewards. Until the moment that I knew, I understood, I would never see you
again, my little girl. Then my life felt as if it had been the length of one breath, one
heartbeat. I never knew how much I loved my daughter until I could never tell her. In
that moment I would have traded every medal, every commendation, every promotion,
for one more second with you. We'll be together again, Starbuck. But not now. Soon."
---
(Scene at CSM's Apartment)
Mulder: "Sit down!"
CSM: "How'd you find me?"
Mulder: "Shut up! Tonight, I ask the questions! You're going to answer me, you son of
a bitch!"
CSM: "Don't try and threaten me, Mulder. I've watched presidents die."
Mulder: "Why her? Why her and not me? . . . Answer me!"
CSM: "I like you. I like her too. That's why she was returned to you."
Mulder: "You should be the one to die."
CSM: "Why? Look at me. No wife, no family, some power. I'm in the game because I
believe what I'm doing is right."
Mulder: "*Right?* Who are you to decide what's right?"
CSM: "Who are you? If people were to know the things I know, it would all fall apart.
I told Skinner you shot the man in the hospital, but I didn't really believe it. And here
you are with a gun to my head. I have more respect for you, Mulder. You're becoming
a player. You can kill me now, but you'll never know the truth. (Mulder wants to
shoot, but doesn't) . . . and that's why I'll win. Don't worry. This'll be our secret. We
wouldn't want others to . . . start rumors.
---
(After describing his own paranormal experience to Mulder.)
Skinner: "I'm afraid to look beyond that experience. You . . . you are not."
---
Melissa Scully: "Why is it so dark in here?"
Mulder: "Because the lights aren't on."
---
Melissa: "I don't have to be psychic to see that you're in a very dark place."
---
Melissa: "Only the light . . ."
Mulder: "Oh, enough with the harmonic convergence crap, ok. You're not saying
anything to me."
Melissa: "Why don't you just drop your cynicism and your paranoia and your defeat.
You know, just because it's positive and good doesn't make it silly or trite! Why is it so
much easier for you to run around trying to get even than just expressing to her how
you feel? I expect more from you. Dana expects more. (opens the door to leave) Even
if it doesn't bring her back, at least she'll know. And so will you."
---
(Mulder at Scully's bedside)
Mulder: "I feel Scully . . . you believe . . . you're not ready to go. And you've always
had th strength of your beliefs. I don't know if my being here will help bring you back
. . . But I'm *here*."
---
Mrs Scully: "Hello, Fox."
Scully: "Not Fox . . . MULDER."
---
Mulder: "I brought you a present . . . 'Superstars of the Super Bowls'."
Scully: "I knew there was a reason to live."
---
Scully: "Mulder, I had the strengths of your beliefs."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FIREWALKER
2x09
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Pierce: "I was afraid to go through proper channels."
Mulder: "We're not exactly "proper channels."
---
Mulder: "Scully, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go."
Scully: "Mulder, I appreciate your concern, but I'm ready. I want to work."
Mulder: "Maybe you should take some time off."
Scully: "I've already lost too much time!"
---
(After Mulder is attacked by Ludwig.)
Mulder: "Do you always greet people this way?"
---
Mulder: "What do you think of Mr. Trepkos's neighborhood?"
---
Mulder: "There's something they're not telling us."
Scully: "Based on what?"
Mulder: "Based on that Ludwig tried to play T-ball with my *head*."
---
Mulder: "I'm gonna go find Trepkos."
Scully: "What if he's already dead?"
Mulder: "Then he'll have a tough time answering my questions."
---
Scully: "Will you at least let me go with you?"
Mulder: "No."
Scully: "Look, I know what you're thinking, but you have to get past that, we both do.
I'm back, and I'm not going anywhere."
---
(Trepkos is pouring gas on Ludwig after killing him.)
Mulder: "Why are you doing this Trepkos? He's already dead. How many times do
you have to kill him."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RED MUSEUM
2x10
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Sheriff: "Well, Odin and the rest of them are a bunch of vegetarians. They drove the
ranch right into the ground. Turned 500 head of beef cattle into pets. Calls it a
monument to barbarism."
Mulder: "Probably went over big with the local ranchers."
Sheriff: (Laughs) "Well you gotta admit it takes some big ones to set down in the
middle of cow country and start a church like his."
---
Scully: "You know, Mulder, with ribs like these, I'd say the Church Of the Red
Museum has their work cut out for them."
(oh yes, the infamous BBQ scene :o)
---
Mulder: "They're Walk-Ins."
Scully: "What are Walk-Ins?"
Mulder: "Believers in soul transference, enlightened spirits that have taken possession of
other peoples bodies."
. . .
Scully: "But not Nixon?"
Mulder: "No, not even they want to claim Nixon."
---
Mulder: "You know, for a holy man, you've got quite a knack for pissing people off."
---
Kid: "Gotta drain the lizard . . ."
Rick: "What do you want? Applause, man?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
EXCELSIUS DEI
2x11
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "Whatever tape you found in that VCR, it isn't mine."
Scully: "Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all the other tapes that aren't
yours."
---
Patient: "I've got plumbing older than this building, and it don't work much better,
either!"
(Opens towel to provide a view)
Mulder: "Thank you for sharing."
---
Scully: "What do you think, Mulder?"
Mulder: "About the guy's plumbing?"
---
Mulder: "Are you saying that this building's haunted? Because if you are, I think you've
been working with me for too long Scully."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
AUBREY
1x12
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "Go to hell."
---
(While driving to suspect's house in Nebraska)
Mulder: "You mean a hunch?"
Scully: "Yeah, something like that."
Mulder: "Well that's a pretty extreme hunch."
Scully: "Well I seem to recall you having some pretty extreme hunches."
Mulder: (Smiling) "I never have . . ."
---
Scully: "A woman senses these things."
---
Mulder: "I've often felt that dreams are answers to questions we haven't figured out
how to ask."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
IRRESISTIBLE
2x13
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "Well, some people collect salt and pepper shakers. Fetishists collect dead
things - fingernails and hair. No one quite knows why. Though I've never really
understood salt and pepper shakers myself."
---
Scully: "It took us 3 hours to get here, our plane doesn't leave until tomorrow night. If
you suspected . . ."
Mulder: "Vikings versus Redskins, Scully. 40 yard line in the Hubert H. Humphrey
Metrodome. You and me."
---
Scully: "A body has a story to tell."
---
Mulder (to Scully): "I just don't want to you to think you have to hide anything from
me."
---
Scully (to counselor): "I trust him [Mulder] as much as anyone. I trust him with my life."
---
Scully: "I don't want him to know how much this is bothering me. I don't want him to
feel like he has to protect me."
---
(on phone)
Mulder: "Look, I know this is a pretty horrific case, but-"
Scully: "I'm okay with it, Mulder. Anyway, you could use my help."
Mulder: "Always."
---
Mulder: "People videotape police beatings on darkened streets. They manage to spot
Elvis in three cities across America every day. But no one saw a pretty woman being
run off the road in her rental car."
---
Mulder: "You sure you don't want to sit down, Scully? I can get someone to take a
look at you."
Scully: "I'm fine, Mulder."
(Mulder lifts her chin with his finger.)
(From the Original Script):
She looks at him now and the eye contact between them is all it takes. He sees the fear
still in her eyes, and now she can't hold back. Scully begins to cry. Mulder holding her
now, though she keeps her arms crossed in front of herself at first, resistant. Until the
strength she feels from him causes her to let go and allow herself and let the emotion
come fully out . . . Scully continues to cry in Mulder's arms. He holds her tight and
strong. Protective
(If that's not love, what is?! :P )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
DIE HAND DIE VERLETZT
2x14
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "I mean, there's nothing weird about --"
(toads start falling from the sky, then stop)
Mulder: "So, lunch?"
Scully: "Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!"
Mulder: "Guess their parachutes didn't open. What did you say about this place not
feeling odd?"
---
Mulder: "Did you really think you could call up the devil and ask him to behave?"
---
(Discussing the possibility that a man was eaten by a snake)
Scully: "That's impossible. It would take a large python hours to consume and weeks to
digest a human body."
Mulder: "You really do watch the Learning Channel."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
FRESH BONES
2X15
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "Private John McAlpin, one of the few . . . proud . . . the dead. Last week he
wrapped his car around a tree, died on impact."
---
Scully: "Let's go, Mulder."
Mulder: "Wait, you should always carry protection."
---
Scully: ". . . I'll admit the power of suggestion is considerable, this is no more magic
than a pair of fuzzy dice . . ."
(the charm from Chester).
---
(Mulder and Scully come into the Colonel's office as he's having breakfast)
Colonel: "I'm sorry, I'm having my breakfast."
Mulder: "That's all right, we already ate."
---
Mulder: "Well, we'll let you finish. We wouldn't want your breakfast to get cold."
---
Mulder: "You O.K.?"
Scully: "I feel better than you look . . ."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
COLONY
2X16
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "Oh, hey. I've been looking for you."
Scully: "I was just down the street. Somebody fired more shots at the White House
again last night.
Mulder: "You've gotta wonder about a country where even the president has to worry
about drive-by shootings."
---
Scully: "I've got a bad feeling about this case, Mulder."
Mulder:"What do you mean?"
Scully: "Well, nothing about it makes sense. We've got 3 deaths of identical victims, no
bodies, a virtual non-suspect . . ."
Mulder: "Sounds just like an X-File."
---
(After Mulder gets hit by a car)
Scully: "How are you feeling?"
Mulder: "Like I should have used the crosswalk."
---
Scully: "Our `friend' from the CIA is about as unbelievable as his story. As is everything
about this case. I mean, whatever happened to `Trust no one'?"
Mulder: "Oh, I changed it to `Trust everyone'. Didn't I tell you?"
---
Mulder: "I think you're being paranoid."
---
Scully: "What are you going to tell Skinner?"
Mulder: "The truth. I got hit by a car."
---
Mulder: "Who is mom talking to?"
Mulder's Father: "Your sister."
---
'Samantha': "Is it too late for a game of Statego?"
Mulder: "It's twenty-two years too late."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
END GAME
2X17
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "Okay, I'm going to take my left hand and reach into my pocket and get my
ID, okay? Just don't shoot me. I got shot once and I didn't much care for it . . ."
---
'Samantha': "I know how to kill him."
Mulder: "How?"
'Samantha': "By piercing the base of the skull . . ."
Mulder: "That would kill anybody."
---
'Samantha': "I'm fairly sure it will work."
Mulder: " 'Fairly sure'???"
---
Skinner: "What's going on here agent Mulder? Why are the lights out?"
Mulder: "Orders from my optometrist."
---
X: "You wanted to see me?"
Mulder: "How was the opera?"
X: "Wonderful. I've never slept better. I don't like these hasty public meetings, Agent
Mulder."
Mulder: "I'm sorry. I need your help."
X: "It's over. The fat lady is singing."
---
Skinner (to X): "How hard do you want to make this?"
---
Scully: "How did you get this?"
Skinner: "Unofficial channels."
---
Bounty Hunter: "Is the answer to your question worth dying for? Is that what you
want?"
Mulder: "Where is she? Just tell me where she is."
Bounty Hunter: "She's alive. Can you die now?"
---
Scully: "Hey . . . How you feeling?"
Mulder: "Like I got a bad case of freezer burn."
---
Scully: "Thanks for ditching me . . ."
---
Scully: "Did you find what you were looking for?"
Mulder: (whispering) "No . . . no. But I found something I'd thought I'd lost. Faith to
keep looking . . ."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
FEARFUL SYMMETRY
2X18
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "I'd be willing to admit the possibility of a tornado, but it's not really tornado
season. I'd even be willing to entertain the notion of a black hole passing over the area
or some cosmic anomaly but it's not really black hole season either . . . If I were a
betting man, I'd say it was . . ."
Scully: "An invisible elephant?"
Mulder: "I saw David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty disappear once."
---
Scully: "What'cha looking for, Mulder?"
Mulder: "Uhh . . . local paper. I wanna see if David Copperfield is in town."
---
Mulder: "It's all happening at the zoo, Scully."
---
Kyle: ". . . All animals should run free."
Scully: "Even if that means trampling a man to death?"
Kyle: "Maybe he should have gotten out of the way."
Mulder: "I'm sure he would have if he had seen it coming."
---
(Mulder's cell-phone beeps)
Frohike: (Eyebrows up) "If that's the lovely Agent Scully, let her know I've been
working out . . . I'm buff!"
---
Scully: "Well that guy really pisses me off."
Mulder: "You OK, Scully?"
Scully: "Yeah . . ."
Mulder: "Calmed down?"
---
(Scully about to perform an autopsy on the elephant)
Scully: "I hope you know what you're getting us into, Mulder."
Mulder: "I'm pretty sure of what we're gonna find."
Scully: "'Cause this isn't exactly in my job description."
Mulder: "Ah, next thing you know they'll be doing it on MTV Sports."
---
Scully: "There's evidence of hyperplasia and the corpus luteum is ruptured."
(the elephant was preggers)
Willa: "That's not possible."
Mulder: "Neither is an invisible elephant."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DOD KALM
2X19
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder (looking very sick): "You're lucky you inherited your father's legs."
Scully: "What?"
Mulder: "Sea legs."
---
Scully: "It's sardine juice, half a dozen lemons, and the water from a snow globe. It's
not Evian but . . ."
---
Mulder: "You know, I always thought when I got older, I'd maybe take a cruise
somewhere. This isn't exactly what I had in mind . . . The service on this ship is terrible,
Scully. It's not fair . . . It's not our time. We still have work to do . . ."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HUMBUG
2X20
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
(At the funeral after everyone leaves)
Mulder: "I can't wait for the wake."
---
Helm: ". . . it's not a funhouse, it's a tabernacle of terror."
Sheriff: "It's a funhouse."
---
Mulder: "Tell me, have you done much circus work in your life?"
Mr Nut: "And what makes you think I've ever spectated a circus? Much less been
enslaved by one?"
Mulder: "I know that many of the citizens here are former circus hands, and I just
thought that. . ."
Mr Nut: "You thought that because I am a person of short stature, that the only career I
could procure for myself would be one confined to the so-called 'Big Top'. You took
one quick look at me, and decided that you could deduce my entire life. Never did it
occur to you that a person of my height could have possibly obtained a degree in Hotel
Management."
Mulder: "I'm sorry. I meant no offense."
Mr Nut: "Well then why should I take offense? Just because it's human nature to make
instantaneous judgements of others based solely upon their physical appearances? Well
I've done the same thing to you, for example. I've taken in your all - American features,
your dour demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design, and concluded that you work
for the government; an FBI agent . . . but do you see the tragedy here? I have
mistakenly deduced you to a stereotype. A caricature, instead of regarding you as a
specific, unique individual."
Mulder: "But I am an FBI agent."
(whips out his badge)
---
Mulder: "Just try not to be so exclusive, Scully."
Scully: "As long as you try not to let the atmosphere of this town distort your list all out
of proportion."
---
Block: "How many people do you know that can get out of a straight jacket in under 3
minutes?"
Scully: "Fortunately none . . ."
---
Dr. Blockhead: "Did you know that through the protective Chinese art of Tiea Bu Shan
you can train your testicles to draw up into your abdomen?"
Mulder: "Oh, I'm doing that as we speak."
---
Mulder: "I saw him this morning down by the river. He was eating a fish."
Dr Blockhead: "He knows eating between-show snacks will ruin his appetite."
Mulder: "I could be mistaken. Maybe it was another bald-headed jigsaw puzzle
tattooed naked guy I saw."
Scully: "Is this man also a body manipulator?"
Dr Blockhead: "No, in the classical sense The Conundrum is a geek."
Mulder: "He eats live animals . . ."
Dr Blockhead: "He eats anything: live animals, dead animals, rocks, light bulbs,
corkscrews, battery cables, cranberries . . ."
Scully: "Human flesh?"
Dr Blockhead: "Only The Conundrum can answer that question. But, he doesn't
answer questions, he merely poses them. When an audience partakes in The
Conundrum's human piranha act, they are left to ask themselves . . . why? But, where
are my manners?"
(Offers Scully a cricket-filled jar)
Scully: (Takes one) "Thank you."
(Eats cricket, smiles at Mulder then walks away. Mulder looks shocked, refuses the
crickets)
---
(Scully pulls cricket she "ate" from behind Mulder's ear)
Scully: "It's an old sleight of hand my uncle taught me. He was only an amateur
magician but he was still better than those two."
Mulder: "Well I'm going over to the lab to see if they can test the blood on the window
against the blood on Dr. Blockhead's nail. (Produces nail from mid-air) "Everybody's
uncle's an amateur magician."
---
Mr. Nutt: "I know what you're thinking my friend, but you're grossly mistaken . . . Just
because I'm not of so-called average height does not mean I must receive my thrills
vicariously. Not all women are attracted to overly tall, lanky men such as yourself.
You'd be surprised how many women find my size intriguingly alluring."
Mulder: "You'd be surprised how many men do as well." (Smiles knowingly)
---
(Mulder and Scully are caught digging in Sheriff Hamilton's back yard)
Mulder: "We're exhuming . . . your potato."
---
Mr Nut: "So tell me, Commodore? Why are the weirdos the only ones that pay their
rent checks in advance?"
---
Scully: "You know, Mulder. For a while there I was beginning to suspect this case
involved something a bit more . . . uhm . . ."
Mulder: "Freakish? You really shouldn't complain about banality, Scully. When your
main suspect is the human Blockhead . . ."
---
(After Mulder lands on a bed on nails)
Scully: "Mulder, are you alright?"
Mulder: "It's more comfortable than a futon . . ."
---
Dr. Blockhead: "I don't answer any questions until I talk to my lawyer."
Scully: "Who's your lawyer?"
Dr. Blockhead: "I represent myself."
---
Blockhead: "Can you imagine looking like *him* [Mulder] for the rest of your life?"
---
Sheriff: "Now you're sure it was the twin running around here? Now maybe it was the
Fiji Mermaid, he jumped back in the river and swum his way back to Fiji . . ."
Mulder: (To Scully) "Now you know how I feel."
---
Scully: "I already performed the autopsy on him [Lenny] this morning."
Dr Blockhead: "So I guess it's true. You can never go home again."
---
Dr Blockhead: ". . . You see, I've seen the future, and the future looks just like him . . .
[Mulder in a classic GQ pose] Imagine, going through your whole life looking like
that. That's why it's left up to the self-made freaks like me 'n The Conundrum to remind
people . . ."
Scully: "Remind them of what?"
Dr Blockhead: "Nature abhors normality. It can't go too long without a mutant."
---
Mulder: "What's the matter with your friend?"
Dr. Blockhead: "I don't know what his problem is. Maybe it's the Florida heat?"
Scully: "Hope it's nothing serious."
Conundrum: "Probably something I ate."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
THE CALSURI
2x21
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "You see this a helium balloon here and the only thing I learned in kindergarten
is when you let them go they float up, up and away. But you see, this is moving away
from him. Horizontally."
Scully: "Did you learn about wind in kindergarten?"
---
Scully: "Have you ever heard of Munchausen by Proxy?"
Mulder: "Yeah, my grandfather used to take that for his stomach."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
F. EMASCULATA
2x22
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "According to the briefing, prisoners escaped by hiding in a laundry cart."
Mulder: "I don't think the guards are watching enough prison movies."
---
Marshall: "Well then you'd be a real big help is you just tried to . . . stay out of the
way."
Mulder: "Well, we'd be happy to, soon as we can talk to someone who's in
CHARGE . . ."
Marshall: (Peeved) "I'm in charge here."
Mulder: "Apparently not, or you'd know why our involvement was requested."
---
Scully: "Where are you going?"
Mulder: "To see if I can get in the way."
---
Mulder: "Deadly? How deadly?"
Scully: "Well, from what I've seen so far, 36 hours after infection deadly."
---
CSM: "The truth would have caused panic. Panic would have cost lives. We control
the disease by controlling the information."
Mulder: "You can't protect the public by lying."
CSM: "It's done every day . . ."
---
Scully: "There'll be a time for the truth, Mulder, but this isn't it."
---
Skinner: "I stand right on the line that you keep crossing."
---
Skinner: "Agent Mulder. I'm saying this as a friend. Watch your back. This is just the
beginning."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SOFT LIGHT
2x23
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Kelly (to Mulder): "Heard a lot about you . . ."
Mulder: (To Scully) "We'll talk later . . ."
---
Kelly: "Agent Scully, what are you looking at?"
Scully: "Uh, the heat register."
Kelly: "You don't think anyone could have squeezed in there?"
Mulder: "You never know . . ."
---
Scully: (responding to spontaneous combustion theory) "Let's just forget for the
moment that there's no scientific theory to support it."
Mulder: "Okay."
---
Mulder: "Hey Scully, can you spare a prophylactic?"
---
Scully: "Darkness covers a multitude of sins."
---
(Mulder demonstrating his ultra-violet pen torch)
Mulder: "Check this out. My latest tool in the fight against crime $49.99 at your local
hardware store."
Scully: "Neat trick! For your birthday I'll buy you a utility belt.
---
Scully: "Chances are he's not walking around carrying a sign with an arrow on it."
---
Mulder: "Why's he doing that?"
(Looking at the floor)
Scully: "Probably the same reason he spends his whole afternoon in the train station."
---
Scully: ". . . Nonsensical repetitive behavior is a common trait of mental illness."
Mulder: "You trying to tell me something?"
---
Det. Beren: "Yeah, I was just wondering what your involvement is here."
Mulder: "We caught the guy."
---
Mulder: ". . . He believes the government is out to get him."
X: "It's tax season. So do most Americans."
---
Mulder: "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you, Scully."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OUR TOWN
2x24
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "They're sending us on some kind of a wild goose chase."
Mulder: "Chicken chase."
---
Scully: "I'm surprised she didn't call Oprah as soon as she got off the phone with the
police."
---
Mulder: ". . . It gave me nightmares."
Scully: "I didn't think anything gave you nightmares."
Mulder: "Well I was young."
---
Scully: "I just came up with a pretty sick theory, Mulder."
Mulder: (with a grin) "Oooh, I'm listening."
---
Mulder: "Well I'd like it dragged as soon as possible."
Sheriff: "Why would ya wanna do that?"
Mulder: "To see what's in there."
---
Scully: "All of them share one strange detail, Mulder."
Mulder: "Well, they seem to have lost their heads."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
ANASAZI
2x25
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Albert Hosteen: "The Earth has a secret it needs to tell."
---
Mulder: "I'm not feeling well. I didn't sleep last night. Really not in the mood for the
Three Stooges."
Frohike: "I don't think we've been followed."
Mulder: "Who would follow YOU?"
---
Thinker: "I . . . I don't want you to know my real name. I . . . I just don't think it's that
important that you know."
Mulder: "Sounds like a line I used in a bar once."
---
Scully: "What is this?"
Mulder: "The Holy Grail . . ."
---
Scully: "Mulder, are you okay?"
Mulder: "Yeah, I just haven't been sleeping."
---
(Mulder comes to Scully's apartment after his father was shot and collapses in her
arms ;)
---
Mulder: "You shot me!"
Scully: "Yes, I did. You didn't give me much choice. You were about to kill Krycek."
Mulder: "Why'd you shoot ME? HE'S the one . . ."
---
Mulder: "You've taken a big risk."
Scully: "I was certain they would have killed you."
Mulder: "Thank you. Thank you for taking care of me."
---
Mulder: "But these aren't human, Scully. From the look of it I'd say they were alien."
Scully: "Are you sure?"
Mulder: "I'm pretty damn sure."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*~*
SEASON 3
*~*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
THE BLESSING WAY
3x01
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: (to Scully in a dream) "I've come back from the dead to continue with you."
---
Scully (to Skinner): "With all due respect, sir, I think you overestimate your position in
the chain of command."
---
Scully: "How much have you had to drink?"
[Frohike holds up a near-empty bottle of J&B]
Frohike: "Do you recycle?"
---
Frohike: "He was a good friend. A redwood among mere sprouts. I guess this means
he's passing you the torch?"
Scully: "Uh, afraid not. I'm soon to be out of a job."
Frohike: "Those sons of bitches! They're rigging the game."
Scully: "And like rats they just scatter back into the wood pile."
Frohike: "The rats that killed the cat."
---
Deep Throat: "There is truth, you old friend, if that's all you seek. But there's no justice
or judgment without which truth is a vast . . . dead . . . hollow."
---
Guard: "Making you come in the front door, are they Agent Scully?"
Scully: "For now."
---
Skinner: "Miss Scully, I think you underestimate the duties and responsibilities of my
position as Assistant Director."
---
Guard: "That thing is more sensitive than a toothache . . ."
---
Indian: "You must be careful now to end the ceremony properly. If you leave, you must
not do any work, change clothes or bathe for four days."
Mulder: "That's really gonna cut into my social life."
---
Scully: "Threatened enough to murder?"
Well Manicured Man: "Oh my, yes."
---
WMM: "Motives are rarely unselfish."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PAPER CLIP
3x02
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "I was a dead man. Now I'm back."
---
Mulder: "There are truths out there that aren't on that tape."
---
Scully: I went to your father's funeral. I told your mother that you'd be ok.
Mulder: How did you know?
Scully: I just knew.
---
Byers: "Using his 'scientific' data on the effects of high altitude flying, we were able to
put astronauts on the moon before the Soviets."
Langly: "One giant step for mankind . . ."
---
Scully: "Whatever happened to Klemper?"
Langly: "He's still here. Living very well at the expense of the American taxpayer."
---
Frohike: "Unbelievable! We thought you were history!"
Mulder: "You're gonna have to wait a little bit longer for my video collection, Frohike."
---
WMM: "This is not a profession for men who make mistakes. My god, you presume to
make us believe and simply fix it with enough bullets?"
---
Scully [to Klemper]: "History may be the only justice you'll ever know."
---
WMM: "What did you tell him, Victor?"
Klemper: "I told him that you were the most venal man I ever met."
---
Scully: "What do you think your father would have been doing here?"
Mulder: "I dunno . . . but he never came home wearing a miner's cap."
---
Scully: "What do you think?"
Mulder: "I'd like to try door number one, Monty."
---
Mulder: "I think with a crow bar and a small nuclear device it might be able to get
through one of these things."
---
Mulder: "Lots of files."
Scully: "Lots and *lots* of files!"
---
Mulder: "They've got a small army outside."
---
WMM [to Mulder]: "You've become your father."
---
Mulder: "Is there more?"
WMM: "More than you'll ever know."
---
Mulder: "You'd be surprised what's not on the map in this country. And what the
government will do to keep it that way."
---
Skinner: "What do you possibly hope to find Agent Mulder?"
Mulder: "Why they killed my father, what happened to my sister, and what they did to
Agent Scully."
---
CSM: "What did I tell you, Mr. Skinner. I don't negotiate. Especially with punks like
you who think they can bluff me."
---
CSM: "What is this?"
Skinner: "This is where you pucker up and *kiss my ass*!"
---
Scully: "I've heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PAPER CLIP
3x02
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: "I was a dead man. Now I'm back."
---
Mulder: "There are truths out there that aren't on that tape."
---
Scully: I went to your father's funeral. I told your mother that you'd be ok.
Mulder: How did you know?
Scully: I just knew.
---
Byers: "Using his 'scientific' data on the effects of high altitude flying, we were able to
put astronauts on the moon before the Soviets."
Langly: "One giant step for mankind . . ."
---
Scully: "Whatever happened to Klemper?"
Langly: "He's still here. Living very well at the expense of the American taxpayer."
---
Frohike: "Unbelievable! We thought you were history!"
Mulder: "You're gonna have to wait a little bit longer for my video collection, Frohike."
---
WMM: "This is not a profession for men who make mistakes. My god, you presume to
make us believe and simply fix it with enough bullets?"
---
Scully [to Klemper]: "History may be the only justice you'll ever know."
---
WMM: "What did you tell him, Victor?"
Klemper: "I told him that you were the most venal man I ever met."
---
Scully: "What do you think your father would have been doing here?"
Mulder: "I dunno . . . but he never came home wearing a miner's cap."
---
Scully: "What do you think?"
Mulder: "I'd like to try door number one, Monty."
---
Mulder: "I think with a crow bar and a small nuclear device it might be able to get
through one of these things."
---
Mulder: "Lots of files."
Scully: "Lots and *lots* of files!"
---
Mulder: "They've got a small army outside."
---
WMM [to Mulder]: "You've become your father."
---
Mulder: "Is there more?"
WMM: "More than you'll ever know."
---
Mulder: "You'd be surprised what's not on the map in this country. And what the
government will do to keep it that way."
---
Skinner: "What do you possibly hope to find Agent Mulder?"
Mulder: "Why they killed my father, what happened to my sister, and what they did to
Agent Scully."
---
CSM: "What did I tell you, Mr. Skinner. I don't negotiate. Especially with punks like
you who think they can bluff me."
---
CSM: "What is this?"
Skinner: "This is where you pucker up and *kiss my ass*!"
---
Scully: "I've heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3x03
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Darren Peter Oswald: "Uhm, it was my game . . . I was playing here . . ."
Hammond: "Were you, pinhead? Now you're not."
---
Zero: "Aw, man... you shouldn't have done that . . ."
---
Scully: "I wasn't aware of that."
Tuller: "That's as clear as glass."
---
Scully: "Feel free to jump in any time . . ."
Mulder: "Why? You were doing just fine."
Scully: "You have a theory on what's going on here?"
Mulder: "I just don't think it's lightning."
---
Scully: ". . . I hope you're not thinking this has anything to do with government
conspiracies or UFOs."
Mulder: "None of the evidence so far indicates either of those possibilities."
---
DPO: "Why do you want to watch all that stuff anyway? They're all a bunch of losers."
Mom: "'Cause they're on TV. I don't see you on TV."
DPO: "Buuurrpp!!"
Mom: "Manners don't cost, Darren, they're free! What girl's gonna want a belchin' fool
like you?"
---
DPO: "Hey, you know, I think you wanna be someplace else right now, 'cause I'm in
the mood for a little barbecue."
Zero: "Naw, man, not the cows again . . ."
---
Mulder: "That's great, now can you make me a little cherub that squirts water?"
---
Mulder: "8 1/2? That's pretty impressive, Scully."
Scully: "Well, it says it right here on the bottom . . ."
Mulder: "Ooohh."
---
Mulder: "Let's go see if the shoe fits."
---
Zero: "You know, I've been thinking . . ."
DPO: "First time for everything."
(cars squeal, stop inches from each other)
DPO: "Aw, damn ABS brakes . . ."
---
Scully: "Mulder, what's in your pocket?"
---
Zero: ". . . There's another slight problem, she's married to your boss."
DPO: "Maybe I could fry him."
Zero: "Dude, he's your Boss!"
DPO: "Not if he's dead he won't be."
---
Scully: "I'm surprised you haven't already read that issue."
Mulder: "Oh, I have. April is the cruelest month, but mine didn't come with this. I found
it between Miss April and Women of the Ivy League."
---
DPO (reviving Mr. Kiveat): "Rescue 911." (laughs)
---
Scully: "So what? Are we supposed to charge him with assaulting a cellular phone?"
---
DPO: "You know, we could take an Accord or a Maxima . . . you know, you like any
of these? Or hey, you know, if you don't want to go Japanese, You Know, how 'bout
a Taurus? Naw, you're right, you know, all these cars SUCK!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3X04
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Clyde: "What the hell is Lollapalloza?"
Storeman: "Who's Buddy Holly?"
---
Killer: "Don't apologize, you're a better dancer than my last date."
---
Zelma: "Mr., please, you're hurting me."
Killer: "I know, I know, but I'm sorry. But you're a fortuneteller. You should have seen
this coming."
---
Cline: "So what do they say about the entrails?"
Yavez: "Yuck."
---
Mulder: "The leaves were telling her she was about to be murdered."
---
Scully: "I can't take you anywhere."
---
Mulder: "Mr. Yappi, read this thought."
Yappi (reacting as if hit): "So's your old man!"
---
Scully: Sorry about your Negative Energy, Mulder. You missed one hell of a good
show.
---
Young Husband: "But this is a really *good* boat."
---
Young Husband: "Mister, you really need to work on your closing technique."
---
Clyde (Re: Mulder's badge): "I'm supposed to believe that's a real name?"
---
Mulder: "Pinch me."
---
Scully (To Mulder) "Oh, so now *you're* psychic?"
---
Scully (to Mulder): "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give off any negative energy."
Clyde: "Negative energy, what is it?"
---
Clyde: "Oh, sometimes it . . . just seems that everyone's having sex except for me."
---
Clyde: "You'll find a woman tomorrow morning . . . by the fat little white Nazi
stormtrooper at Glenview Lake."
---
Mulder: "Be honest, Scully. Doesn't that propane tank bear more than a slight
resemblance to a fat little white Nazi stormtrooper?"
Scully: "Mulder, the human mind naturally seeks the meaningful patterns and
configurations in things that don't inherently have any. Given the suggestion of a
particular image, you couldn't help but see that shape somewhere. If that tank weren't
there, you'd see it in a...in a rock or in a tree."
Mulder: "Did you answer my question?"
(long pause)
Scully: "Yes, it looks like a fat little white Nazi stormtrooper, but that only proves my
point."
---
Mulder: "If the future is written, then why bother to do anything?"
Bruckman: "Now you're catching on."
---
(Description: Mulder is showing Clyde objects from the murder scene, articularly a
big brass 3-frog thing :)
Mulder: "Do you receive any other impressions from it?"
Clyde: "It's ugly. (Drops it hard) Next."
---
Clyde: "I got it. This is yours. This is from your New York Knicks T-shirt!"
Mulder: "Miss."
Clyde: "This is worse than playing the Lotto."
---
Clyde: "You know, I can think of more dignified ways to die than auto-erotic
asphyxiation."
Mulder: "Why you tellin' me that?"
---
Clyde: "I guess I can't see the forest through the trees."
---
(Mulder gets splattered with mud:)
Mulder: "I'm glad I could bring a little smile into your life, Mr. Bruckman."
Clyde: "I'm not smiling. I'm wincing."
---
Scully: "So who's it from?"
(holds it to his head, Jon Lovitz impression)
Clyde: "The Killer!"
---
Scully: "We can't come up with suspects by having visions."
Clyde: "Jealous?"
---
(After hearing that both she and Clyde would be in bed together)
Scully: "Mr. Bruckman, there are hits and there are misses. And then there are
MISSES."
---
Scully: "Chantilly Lace?"
Mulder: "You *know* what I *like*.
---
Mulder: "If my Miss Manners serves me right, that protrusion from his left cornea is a
salad fork."
---
Det. Cline: "Yeah, this is more like it. No more psychics and their vague visions and
predictions -- Hell, we don't even need our own hunches. This case is now just about
good ol' fashioned forensic police work."
Scully: "Mulder . . . it's the bellhop! He's the killer. The bellhop at the hotel."
Det. Cline: "How the hell did she know that?"
Mulder: "Women's intuition."
---
(after being shot by Scully)
Killer: "Hey, it's not the way it's supposed to happen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3x05
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "Third time's a charm."
---
Sporanzo: "Hey, look around, we ain't got budding opportunity to itchy-scratchy
outside our cell."
---
(After M&S find the guard's body in the office)
Mulder: "I guess you'll be able to finish up that autopsy now, Scully."
---
Scully: "Being obsessed with it doesn't mean you can do it (reincarnate)."
Mulder: "No, unless he knew something we don't."
Scully: "Like what, the magic password?"
---
Mulder: "Is there another competing theory?"
Scully: "A very good one and one much more believable . . ."
---
Mulder: "Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused
you to suffer. Who would they be?"
Scully: "I only get five."
Mulder: "I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?"
---
Roke: "How's it feel on death row, warden?"
---
Scully: "Woman gets lonely, sometimes she can't wait around for her man to be
reincarnated . . ."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
3x06
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "I'm not observing, I'm performing it myself."
Cop: "You're a medical doctor?"
Scully: "You sound surprised."
Cop: "I dunno, maybe I guess I am."
Scully: "Why?"
---
Holly MacLean: "Uh uh. No kissin'. Anything else you want is fine, but no kissin'."
---
Mulder: "Okay, it's not yet the finely detailed insanity that you've come to expect from
me, it's just a theory. But what if he's not doing this out of a psychotic impulse but
rather out of some physical hunger? Maybe he needs to replenish this chemical
deficiency in order to survive."
Scully: "From a dry skin sample you're concluding what? That he's some kind of a
fat-sucking vampire?"
---
Scully: "Yeah, scorpions predigest their food outside of their body by regurgitating onto
their prey but . . . I don't know too many scorpions who surf the internet."
---
Mulder: "Scully, I wouldn't have made a good Amway salesman, I knocked on more
doors . . ."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3x07
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder:(to Captain) "What? We didn't sign in at the front desk?"
---
Scully: (to Captain)"Tell him (the General) that it's *our* protocol."
---
Scully: "You never know when he might try and kill himself again."
---
Leonard: "You got that . . . 'I'm freakin out' look on your face . . . What's the matter?"
Roach: "It's nothing."
Leonard: "Bull. I spent 2 years with your sorry ass in a gun turret, I think I know when
you got something on your mind. C'mon Private, make your report!"
---
Mulder: "No, what I can't figure out is why a man who's so deliberately and
methodically set out to commit suicide would leave the one entrance to the room
unsecured. But then again I obviously have a feeble grasp of army protocol and
procedure."
---
(Mulder is playing the answering machine tape)
Scully: "Find anything?"
Mulder: "No, but I'm really beginning to like the tune . . ."
---
Mulder: "Sometimes the only sane response to an insane world is insanity."
---
Mulder: "Leonard Trimble?"
Leonard (motioning to TV): "No, it's Fred Astaire."
---
Leonard: "How's that? Oh, he's only the guy that turned me into second base by getting
my arms and legs blown off. Other than that he was a real good guy."
---
Leonard: ". . . I'd like to get a little shuteye."
Mulder: "No sleep-walking."
Leonard: "That's good. I haven't heard that one yet. Har de har har."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3x08
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "That's spooky."
Mulder: "That's my name."
---
Mulder: "Have you ever experienced temporary blindness before?"
Lucy: "I've probably experienced everything once or twice. It's all been pretty
temporary."
---
Scully: "I hate to say this Mulder, but I think you just ran out of credibility."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
3x09
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "That's not your usual brand of entertainment . . ."
---
Scully: "Mulder, this is even hokier than the one they aired on the Fox network, you
can't even see what they're operating on!"
---
Scully: "You spent money on this?"
Mulder (smugly): "$29.95 . . . plus shipping."
---
Scully: "Front door's boarded up."
Mulder: "Back door's been busted open. Hope nobody let the rat out."
---
Mulder (After pulling 2nd gun): "I got tired of losing my gun."
---
Mulder: "Ah, look at this. A beacon in the night. (Skinner)"
---
Mulder: "Well, I didn't get his name, I was too busy getting my ass kicked."
---
Scully: "What would a Japanese diplomat be doing in that house, with a dead man . . .
with his head stuffed in a pillow case?"
Mulder: "Obviously not strengthening international relations."
---
Mulder: "I just remembered a piece of evidence from the crime scene that I 'forgot' to
turn in."
---
Mulder (Re: the list of names): "Maybe he's gonna fit her for a pillow case, too."
---
Langly: "Just gotta love them German optics."
---
Mulder: "Gotta love that global economy, huh?"
---
Mulder: "I don't remember giving you a key."
Skinner: "I came to see you. Obviously I was late for the party."
(Mulder's apartment is trashed)
Mulder: "Yeah, I guess I should really fire my maid, shouldn't I?"
---
Skinner: "This morning his body was found floating face down in the Seano canal. I
think we can assume he wasn't diving for pearls."
---
Skinner: "Because whatever you stepped in on this case is being tracked into my office,
and I don't like the smell of it."
Mulder: "Mind if I tidy up in here a bit first?"
---
Scully: "So you're saying that this is man-made."
Agent Pendrell: "What else would it be?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
3x10
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Mulder: You've never seen America until you've seen it from a train, Scully.
---
Mulder (Finding the journals are in Japanese): Why did I study French in high
school?"
---
Mulder: "I just want you to point it at him. Don't pull the trigger (clicks empty gun).
Kinda gives away the game."
---
Scully: "Well don't, Agent Pendrell. Keep up the good work."
Pendrell: "Hey, thanks. Keep it up yourself!"
(Scully leaves)
Pendrell: "Keep it up yourself . . . what a doof . . ."
---
Woman: "Ooh, god. He's dead!"
Mulder: "Sshh! He's just got a little motion sickness. I'm gonna go find a doctor. Why
don't you and your young man just find another bathroom?"
---
Mulder: "The NSA? Since when did they start issuing you guys piano wire instead of
guns?"
---
MIB: "The ruler of the world is no longer the country with the greatest soldiers, but the
greatest scientists."
---
MIB: "What's the next stop?"
Scully: "It's not on the map."
---
Mulder: "As an employee of the National Security Agency you should know that a
gunshot wound to the stomach is probably the most painful and the slowest way to die.
But I'm not a very good shot. And when I miss . . . I tend to miss low . . ." (aims at
crotch)
---
Mulder: "What are you watching?"
Scully: "Your alien autopsy video."
Mulder: "You mean I might get my $29.95's worth after all?"
---
Mulder: Tick, tick, Scully. (When she's trying to read the code)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
3x11
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Reverend: ". . . Moses hadn't really parted the Red Sea. He said that high winds and
ocean currents had been responsible."
---
Rev: "Most people today tend to vest themselves in science and cynicism. They expect
proof for all they see. Miracles are wondrous by nature, they need no rationale. No
justification."
---
Mulder: "No, I think this is a case of too much faith. (Tastes blood) And too much
sugar."
---
Mulder: "Or maybe it's just a . . . very disgruntled altarboy."
Scully: "Well that narrows down the field."
---
Teacher: "Kevin Cryder. I assume, Kevin, that in the last 24 hours you've become quite
the math wizard. Why don't you come on up to the board and share with us your gift
with numbers?"
---
Principal: "I love my job . . ."
---
Scully: "Did you get a composite?"
Mulder: "Yeah, looks like Kevin was abducted by Homer Simpson's evil twin."
Scully: "This isn't the killer, Mulder."
Mulder: "I think that's a safe assumption."
---
Mulder: "By who? Who asked you to protect him?"
Owen: "God."
Mulder: "It's quite a long distance call, isn't it?"
---
Scully: "Mr. Jarvis, my religious convictions are hardly the issue here."
Owen: "But they are. How can you help Kevin if you don't believe? Even the killer, he
believes."
Mulder: "Townfolk wonder why I sleep in Sundays."
---
Mulder: "Any revelations?"
Scully: "Mulder, would you do me a favor? Would you smell Mr. Jarvis?"
Mulder: "You want me to SMELL him?"
---
Mulder: "And now you're suggesting that this is Saint Owen?"
---
Mulder: "These people are simply fanatics behaving fanatically using religion as a
justification. They give bona fide paranoiacs like myself a bad name. They are no more
divine or holy than that ketchup we saw on the murdered preacher."
---
Scully: "I believe in the idea that God's hand can be witnessed. I believe he can create
miracles."
Mulder: "Even if science can't explain them?"
Scully: "Maybe that's what faith is . . ."
---
Mulder: "You never draw MY bath . . ."
---
Scully: "How is it that you're able to go out on a limb whenever you see a light in the
sky, but you're unwilling to accept the possibility of a miracle? Even when it's right in
front of you."
---
Scully: "Mostly it just makes me afraid."
Priest: "Afraid?"
Scully: "Afraid that God is speaking. But that no one's listening."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
3x12
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: ". . . The very idea of intelligent alien life is not only astronomically impossible,
but at it's most basic level downright anti-Darwinian."
Mulder: "Scully . . . what are you wearing?"
---
Sheriff: "What are you doing?"
Mulder: "Just sittin' and thinkin'."
Sheriff: "Sitting and thinking . . . and talking on the phone?"
Mulder: "Yeah."
Sheriff: "To who? Your drug dealer?"
---
Sheriff: "Who was that?"
Mulder: "My drug dealer."
---
Mulder: It appears that cockroaches are mortally attacking people.
Scully: I'm not gonna ask if you just said what I think you said because I know it's what
you just said."
---
Gas Man: I thought that nowadays you froze the insects to death.
Bug Man: Freeze them? Where's the fun in that?
---
Gas Man: The image of those cockroaches has been permanently imprinted onto my
brain. I see them every time I close my eyes.
Frass: Try not to close your eyes.
Gas Man: How am I going to sleep? WHERE am I going to sleep? Certainly not in this
place.
---
(After taking a hit on the burning dung)
Stoner: Dude! That's some good crap.
---
Dude: You really ought to, you know? Try it! This stuff takes your mind and just sort
of, you know, expands it.
Chick: Yeah, well, something tells me it's more than my mind you guys are interested in
expanding.
---
Scully: Was there any evidence of drug use at the crime scene?
Mulder: Uh, well he did have a homemade lab set-up, I'm not sure what he was
producing. (Smells, revulses) Awh, man! Smells like a septic tank.
---
Scully: Did you catch it? (The roach)
Mulder: Almost.
Scully: I don't know what to tell you, Mulder. I just hope you're not implying you've
come across an infestation of killer cockroaches.
---
Mulder: "I see the correlation, but just because I work for the federal government
doesn't mean I'm an expert on cockroaches."
---
Scully: "Who died now?"
---
Scully: "Mulder, you're not thinking about trespassing on government property again,
are you? I know you've done it in the past but I don't think this case war . . ."
Mulder: "Too late. I'm already inside."
Scully: ". . . (heavy sigh). . ."
---
(Over phone)
Scully: Did he give you any idea of how to catch them?
Mulder: No, but she did tell me everything else there is to know about insects.
Scully: SHE??
---
Scully: "Her name is Bambi?"
---
Mulder: "Did you know that the ancient Egyptians worshipped the scarab beetle and
possibly erected the pyramids to honor them, which may be giant symbolic dung
heaps?"
Scully: "Did you know the inventor of the flush toilet was named Thomas Crapper?"
---
Mulder: ". . . It took forever for me to realize that it was no leaf."
Scully: "A praying matins?"
Mulder: "Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany and, as a result, I screamed. Not . . .
not a girly scream but the scream of someone being confronted by some before
unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited. Did you
ever notice how a praying mantis' head resembles an alien's head? The mysteries of the
natural world were revealed to me that day but instead of being astounded I was
repulsed."
Scully: "Mulder, are you sure it wasn't a girly scream?"
---
Mulder: "Oh that makes perfect sense, Scully, I don't like it at all."
---
Scully: "Mulder, I'm coming up there."
Mulder: "Whatever."
---
Dr. Ibanov: "Anyone who thinks that alien visitation will come not in the form of robots
but living beings with big eyes and grey skin, has been brainwashed by too much
science-fiction."
---
Scully: "Mulder, this town is insane."
Mulder: "Where are you?"
Scully: "In a convenience store just outside . . . civilization."
---
Mulder: "Crap."
---
Scully: "Smart is sexy. Think of it this way, Mulder. By the time there's another invasion
of artificially intelligent dung eating robotic probes from outer space maybe their
children will have devised a way to save our planet."
---
Mulder: "Scully, I never thought I'd say this to you but . . . you smell bad."
---
Sheriff: "You two should get some rest. You look pooped."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3x13
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "Map says to turn right at the intersection."
Mulder: "The Detective who contacted me told me to turn left."
Scully: "At the intersection?"
Mulder: "At the stop light."
Scully: "This isn't a stop light it's a stop sign."
Mulder: "Well, I'm sure she meant the stop sign."
Scully: ". . . Turn right."
---
Mulder: "You don't supposeshe's a virgin, do you?
Scully: "I doubt she's even a blonde."
---
Mulder: "Go ahead."
Scully: "No, you go ahead."
Mulder: "No, I know how much you love snapping on the latex."
---
Mulder (To White): "She (Scully) tends to be rather rigid; but rigid in a wonderful way
-- not like she was today."
---
Astrologer: "I think the whole town's lost its marbles."
---
Terri: "Scott Simmons. Babe-o-licious in overtime, Gene!"
Margi: "Minus the Brenda appendage."
Terri: "Hate her."
Margi: "Hate her. Wouldn't want to date her."
---
Scully: ". . . but I didn't expect you to ditch me."
Mulder: "I didn't ditch you."
Scully: "Fine . . . whatever."
---
White: "You've been drinking."
Mulder: "yes . . . eh . . . I have. Which is . . . funny 'cause I usually, uh, normally never,
I don't drink."
---
Mulder: "Let me drive."
Scully: "I'm driving."
Mulder: "Scully, it's not what you think."
Scully: "I didn't see anything anyway."
Mulder: "Will you let me drive?"
Scully: "I'm driving. Why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy?
Because you're the big macho man?"
Mulder: "No, I was just never sure your little feet would reach the pedals."
Scully (mockingly): "I'm a macho man . . ."
Brenda: "What are you guys doing?"
---
Margi: "You just close your eyes and count to thirteen, and Bloody Mary appears in
the mirror."
Terri: "C'mon in . . . Bren-da!"
---
Astrologer: "I'm just waiting for authorization."
Mulder: "I'm a federal agent."
Astrologer: "Last I heard the federal government couldn't pay its bills."
---
Astrologer: "Well, th same reason my dogs been trying to mate with the barbecue grill
for the last two months. A cosmic G-spot."
---
Scully: "Mulder, what the hell's going on here?"
Mulder: "Something cosmic."
---
Mulder & Scully: "Put that gun down!"
---
Principal Bob: "I think that it was Satan. Yes sir . . . Satan it was."
Mob: "Oooooohhhhhhhhh . . ."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3x14
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Nemhauser: "He bit me! The sonuvabitch bit me like a dog!"
Cop: "You OK?"
Nemhauser: "Yeah yeah . . ."
---
Mulder: ". . . failed to mention on his INS application that he spent the better part of his
20's in an insane asylum."
---
Scully: "He was arrested last week for the serial murders of at least seven men."
---
Mulder: "You thought all they (Uzbekistan) produced were great hockey players."
---
Scully: "The level of violence and overkill here would suggest the work of a very angry
individual."
Mulder: "Or individuals. If you count the spirit Mastau says possessed him during the
murders."
---
Mastau: "Leave me alone."
Scully: "You have a nice soft bunk, sir. Why aren't you using it?"
Mulder: "Cause he's been working. Haven't you, John?"
---
Patterson: "So what is it Mulder? Little green men? Evil spirits? Hounds of Hell?"
Mulder: "Scully, this is Bill Patterson. He runs the investigative support unit out of
Quantico."
Scully: "Yes, I know. Behavioral Science, you wrote the book. It's an honor, sir."
Patterson: "Is that what you think? That the suspect is possessed by some dark spirit?"
Scully: (smiling) "No, not at all, sir."
Patterson: (eyeing Mulder) "Strange company you keep, then."
Mulder: (laughing to himself) "That's what always amazed me about you, Bill. How
you never fit your own profile. No one would ever guess how really mean-spirited you
are."
---
Mulder: "Patterson never liked me."
Scully: "I thought you were considered the fair-haired boy when you joined the
bureau."
Mulder: "Not by Patterson."
Scully: "Why not?"
Mulder: "Didn't want to dirty my knees. Couldn't quite cast myself in the role of the
dutiful student."
Scully: "You mean you couldn't worship him."
Mulder: "Something like that, yeah."
---
(Scully gets spooked by a cat)
Scully: "Now our guys must have locked it in here."
Mulder: (Look under the bed at cat) "Pss-pss." (Cat hisses at him and ducks into
hole in wall) "Uh no, he's obviously got his own key to the place."
---
Mulder: "I've got a few theories, I'm just trying to stitch them together right now."
Patterson: "With your face stuck in a library book!"
Mulder: "You said it yourself, Bill. If you want to know the artist look at the art. I'm
finally agreeing with you."
---
Patterson: "I have to say . . . I'm really disappointed in you."
Mulder: "Well I wouldn't want to disappoint you by not disappointing you."
---
Scully: "Look, when I couldn't reach you I went to your apartment. I saw your new
wallpaper."
---
Skinner: Are you worried about Agent Mulder?
Scully: (Obviously scared and upset) No sir.
Skinner: Off the record.
Scully: (Silence . . . The look . . .)
Skinner: So am I.
---
Mulder: "It's Nemhauser. But you already knew that, didn't you?"
Patterson: "What is this?"
Mulder: "You killed him, Bill. When he suspected it was you. You killed him."
Patterson: "Are you out of your mind?"
Mulder: "Not me. Not now."
---
Patterson: "My advice to you Scully -- let Mulder do what he has to do. Don't get in
his way and don't try to hold him back . . . because you won't be able to."
---
Mulder: "We work in the dark. We do what we can to battle with the evil that would
otherwise destroy us. But, a man's character's fate is defined as not a choice but a
calling. Yet sometimes the weight of this burden causes us to falter, breaching the fragile
fortress of our mind, allowing the monsters without to turn within and we are left alone,
staring into the abyss . . . into the laughing face of madness."
---
Mulder: "What he really meant is if you want to catch a monster you have to become
one yourself."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
3x15
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Scully: "You know, it's strange. Men can blow up buildings, and they can be nowhere
near the crime scene. But we can piece together the evidence and convict them beyond
a doubt. Our labs here can recreate out of the most microscopic details their motivation
and circumstance to almost any murder. Right down to a killer's attitude towards his
mother and that he was a bewetter. But in the case of a woman . . . my sister . . . who
was gunned down in cold blood in a well-lit apartment building by a shooter who left
the weapon at the crime scene, we can't even put together enough to keep anybody
interested."
---
Scully (to Mulder):laughs I'm just constantly amazed by you. I . . . you're working
down here in the basement sifting through files and transmissions that any other agent
would just throw away in the garbage.
Mulder: Well, that's why I'm in the basement, Scully.
Scully: You're in the basement because they're afraid of you . . . of your relentlessness
and because they know they could drop you in the middle of the desert and tell you the
truth is out there and you'd ask them for a shovel.
Mulder: That's what you think of me?
Scully: Well, maybe not a shovel. Maybe a back hoe.
Mulder: "Well that's good, because there's some garbage in San Diego I want you to
help me dig through."
---
Doc: "Whatever these men came in contact with, it was man-made. Levels like this just
don't appear in nature."
Mulder: "Not on this planet."
---
Mulder: "So it's OK for us to go on board?"
Morgan: "Sure. Probably get more radiation off your cell-phone."
---
Morgan: ". . . It's (the ship) a mess, huh?"
Mulder: "Just like home."
---
(Mulder and Scully are reviewing a black-and-white videotape in bad condition.)
Mulder: "It looks like the fuselage of a plane."
Scully: "It's an American P51 Mustang."
US Naval Guy (Leaning in to look at the monitor): "Yeah, it sure is."
Mulder: "I just got very turned on."
---
Skinner: "Who are you guys?"
MIB: "We work for the intelligence community."
Skinner: "Remind me not to move there."
---
Mulder: "This seat taken, Ms. Kallenchek? Geraldine Kallenchek, isn't it?"
Kallenchek: "Jerri, with a 'J'."
Mulder: "I noticed you flew first class. Must be good money selling classified
documents."
Kallenchek: "It's a bull market, hon. And I'm Miss Popular. Let's make a deal."
---
Kallenchek: "Arrest me? With what, your chopsticks? This is Hong Kong, Mr. Mulder.
They don't allow handguns here. They took yours away at the airport."
(Mulder smiles and handcuffs her to him)
Kallenchek: "Hey! Hey! You can't do that!"
Mulder: I just did. *Now* let's make a deal . . ."
---
Mulder: "Open it. (kicks it open) Pardon my gender type, but after you."
---
Mulder: "Where are the lights?"
Krychek: "Right here." (Points gun)
Mulder: "Krychek. Thought guns were against the law here."
Krychek: "Yeah, well you know what they say . . . when guns are outlawed . . ."
---
Mulder: "No way to treat your business partner. Especially since she seems to be
moving those secrets you're selling so well."
Krychek: "Looks like she's your partner now."
---
(Mulder punches Krychek in the stomach)
Mulder: "That's for your partner. This is for me."
(Headbutts him in the nose)
Mulder: "And this is for my father."
(Points Krychek's gun at his abdomen)
Krychek: "I didn't kill your father."
Mulder: "*Now* you tell me . . ."
---
Mulder: "Feeling better?"
Krychek/Entity: "Like a new man."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
3x16
X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X
Crewman: "That thing is still down there. The Navy'll deny it. But you've got to make
sure . . . the truth gets out. I can trust you to do that, can't I Mr. Mulder?"
Young CSM: "You can trust all of us . . ."
---
Scully: "I've heard the excuses. I don't care if you and Agent Kolaka have to stand out
in the hallway yourselves. This man has to be protected. Okay?"
---
CSM: "What's the prognosis?"
Doctor: "It's just a matter of time. This kind of absorption will have a rapid effect on
cellular activity, giving rise to the onset of massive and malignant cancers."
---
CSM: "Have the bodies destroyed."
Doctor: "But sir, these men aren't dead yet!"
CSM: "Isn't that the prognosis?"
---
Mulder: (Wakes up to Scully's smiling face) Guess I'm not dead.
---
Scully: "What's it going to take?"
Agent Kolaka: "At this point? Other than a sign from God?"
Scully: "I've seen stranger things believe me."
Pendrell: "I believe she has."
---
Scully: "Hi. How are you feeling?"
Skinner: "Like someone's been inside my stomach redecorating."
---
Mulder: "It looked great on me in the store."
---
Mulder: "I think that Mrs. Gautier went to Hong Kong under the control of this thing to
find Krychek. I know... I know how it sounds."
Scully: "Is anybody NOT looking for Krychek?"
---
Frohike: "Nothin' to it."
Byers: "You should call upon our services more often."
Langly: "We show talent for these G-MAN activities."
Mulder: "You mean if I want somebody whacked on the knee with a lead pipe?"
Frohike: "Only if you want it done right."
Mulder (Opens package): "It's gone."
---
Mulder: Actually it's a phone number. New York City area code. 555-1012. (Hands
Frohike pencil) Now don't drop that. It's a finely calibrated piece of investigative
equipment. I'm gonna make a phone call . . .
Frohike: (Still holding pencil like Mulder gave it to him) I'll be damned.
---
Agent: "His name is Luis Cardinal. Native of Nicaragua. School of the America's
alumni . . ."
---
WMM: "I trust we're alone."
Mulder: "We're all alone in New York City, sir."
---
Scully: "There must be 200 silos out here. And if I'm correct they were all filled with
concrete in accord with the disarmament treaty when the base was decommissioned."
Mulder: "I didn't sign any disarmament treaty."
---